Not much. Maybe I'm going overboard.
You're bleeding.
Crow beaks are sharp.
Scary, huh?
Pretty scary.
Hypnotist Murdered!
Welcome.
Pako noodles.
One order of pako noodles, right?
Yes.
Thank you.
I love 'em.
Huh?
Pako noodles.
Good choice.
A person with a right side up and upside down face.
The two faces fight.
Yoko's Thought Up Commercial
Italian burger meal.
Stop selfishly ordering, asshole.
Get the pako noodles, asshole.
You had them yesterday.
What's wrong with pako noodles?
I wanna eat 'em everyday.
You'll get sick of them.
No I won't!
Well, you listen to Ken Hirai everyday.
I like Ken Hirai.
Well I like pako noodles.
Don't compare them to Ken Hirai.
Same thing.
No, it's not.
Same thing, asshole!
So they're the same. You got me.
Now that's funny! I'll make a series.
Yoko's Thought Up Commercial
Rice or bread?
Rice. Rice!
Bread.
Is bread all your face can eat?
Leave my face out of it.
Rice for me, honey.
Rice, right?
Bread.
Stop it.
You stop it.
What the hell!
Don't order me around.
Whatta ya think of the music biz?
Who cares! We're not talking about that.
We never talk anyone.
We're talking about rice or bread.
Bread for me!
What!
What is your function in life?
Hey uhhh...
Can I get a light?
Not from 'round here, are you?
Nobody 'round here comes down this street.
You know why?
No.
Wanna know why?
'Cuz it's haunted.
The ghost's a cop.
Rides a patrol bike.
Gets close and asks for a light.
If you give it to him, you're done for.
I'm kidding man!
I had you huh?
Hook, line and sinker.
Huh? What?
Light.
Light?
My lighter.
Oh, your lighter.
I had you huh? Hook, line and sinker?
Lighter.
I had you huh? Fooled you good.
You going?
So soon? Going, eh?
Everybody goes.
Hurry.
Help me.
What?
Madame, this is hard to say...
What? What is it?
He seems to think he's a bird.
I know that much.
The cause seems to be hypnotism.
I know that too.
So how can you cure him?
Don't ask me, Madame.
Well Madame...
Yamaguchi, take a look.
A most unusual case.
Umm...
What do you reckon?
An extremely curious case.
Only a few like this have been reported.
In 1968, a mid 20s Afro-American from Florida, William Oldman...
Umm...
Yes?
How can I get my husband back to normal?
That would be a medical waste. Right, Yamaguchi?
An utter waste.
Right.
Let us keep your husband as a research sample.
No way!
She turned us down.
That's a shame.
This drawing here, Nakajima's.
It's well... Great but...
It's a little normal I guess. Yeah, too normal...
But normal is good but... Well you know.
Now Machida's drawing...
It's well... Interesting, yeah...
Hold it. Something just hit me.
Well, the more I look at it, it's not so interesting...
A bit normal I guess.
What do you think, Machida?
Not interesting at all, huh? Well, you know.
But she said it was good.
Kobayashi's drawing...
It's well... Great... yeah...
Fathers are like Superman to kids.
Yeah, I can see that... Yeah, I get it.
Kaneko, what's this?
Mom always says that Dad loves women.
Well, it's not normal. Great but...
Uh, well, I don't like it.
And Hoshino's drawing...
Yeah... It's is difficult...
What the hell?
What the fuck?
Now the icing. More and more.
How fattening.
More and more.
I'm home.
Where've you been?
It's a secret.
They said they understood.
Do they really understand? But you said that before...
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah... Forget it. Anyway, just do your job.
Working on Xmas Eve?
Something wrong?
Wrong to work on Xmas Eve?
No, I just thought you looked stressed.
You're working, right?
Being a cabbie is my job so...
So...
It's OK for you but not for someone like me who makes commercials huh!
I wouldn't say that...
What're you saying then?
Spit it out!
Hurry up!
So what're you saying?
I was just... I'm sorry.
I was wrong.
I'll be more careful next time.
You got me.
I'm sorry. Forgive me. Sorry!
Out of respect for my hair, forgive me!
Sorry... sorry.
Yoko's Thought Up Commercial
Long day, huh?
A drink?
Nice idea.
Two waters.
Cheers!
Woooow!
And hoooooow!
Water Does Your Body Good.
Now that's funny.
What's with that?
I almost got raped.
Raped? By a guy?
Yeah.
Okay?
Is what okay?
Your body and...
"Almost" got raped.
I see.
Yesterday...
I saw a crow.
Again?
You know, yesterday was trash day.
I didn't know but anyway...
A crow dropped a garbage bag in the middle of the road.
In the road?
Yeah, do you know why?
No idea.
Then a car comes and runs over the garbage bag.
Yeah.
Then the bag breaks open.
Yeah.
Then the crow eats what came out of the bag.
Really.
What's this?
A crab and shrimp having sex...
A new taste is born...
A snack food commercial.
Nose hair grows from lies.
An alien who eats from his butt and poops from his mouth...
Farts hit his nose.
Not a soul in sight.
Well, it is Xmas Eve...
What?
You're dark.
Why so tan?
Really tanned.
Too tanned.
Did you go on vacation?
Nope.
Why are you suddenly...
Hitting the tanning salon?
Nope.
A tanning salon...
is so not you.
Jesus...
Hey man! Are you nuts?
This ain't no phone booth.
Kawaguchi... Sorry.
Hi... Come on... no, no, no, no.
You love talkin' about sex.
Huh? Hello? Hello?
You've got a great body, J.
Ah, thanks man. I work out.
I thought so.
Hitting the gym?
No! I do pushups.
Pushups?
Everyday I do pushups. This is what I do.
Fuck yeah! This is what I do.
Morishita, why you so tan?
Just drop it.
New girlfriend?
No, no, no, no, no...
No, no. No way.
Why not?
Yeah?
Girls and me don't mix.
What do you mean?
Years ago, my sister and I...
What?
You what?
That's bad!
Way bad!
You and your sister! Way bad!!
Hey, hey. What's bad?
Lately, teenagers say 'bad' when they mean 'good'. That bad?
The good meaning.
Bad. Bad?
I'm bad, you know it.
I'm bad. Way bad.
Deodorant commercial...
A man with a canine sense of smell...
He faints at the smell of his feet.
A guy as big as a horse with a condom to match.
Here we go.
Dinner is served.
To Daddy: Merry Christmas
A shampoo commercial...
A man who's sexual pleasure zone is his scalp...
Every time he washes his hair, he faints in agony.
When a girl's period gets close, she jumps sideways.
Are F1 racers male...
or female?
Not another quiz?
You betcha.
Are F1 racers, male or female?
You and your quizzes.
J, entertain this guy.
OK. F1 racers, huh?
You betcha. Male or female?
F1 racers, huh...
This is a tricky one.
The answer is male. Do you know why?
Men are 'quick'?
Close but no cigar.
Because racing takes 'balls'.
Balls?
Balls. These!
Maybe I should quiz that guy?
Stop it, idiot.
They look bad. Don't you dare.
'Bad' meaning 'good' right?
Seriously, don't do it.
Excuse me but are F1 racers, male or female?
I'm feeling really good right now in this sauna.
Please don't talk to me.
Don't know the answer, do you?
So which is it? Male or female?
You mustn't ask me questions. You idiot.
I knew it. Don't know, do you?
Give up? Give up?
The answer is male. The reason is...
it takes 'balls'.
Too bad.
Next question. Is a bullet train, male or female?
I told you no questions!
Go back to your area. Get out! Damnit!
No giving up this time.
So which is it? Male or female?
Follow your instincts.
You deaf? I said no questions!
He's feeling good in the sauna. Stop botherin' me or I'll kill you.
You... you homo.
Are you a homo?
We don't need homos.
Is your friend a homo too?
No! I ain't no homo...
I'm gay!
J! You okay?
What is m-m-my function in life?
An pain relief medicine commercial...
A guy's head hurts so much it explodes...
His brains fly BOOM, BANG!
Wow!
What's with...
What an outfit.
I'm so stupid.
I wonder when he'll be cured.
I'm on the verge of neurosis.
Maybe by New Year's?
Does Grandma know about Dad?
I haven't told her. How could I?
After all...
we can't go visit her like this.
No, we can't.
This can't...
go on forever, can it?
Don't say such things. He'll be fine.
I wonder.
He'll be fine.
I don't know.
He'll be fine.
Daddy!
Why did this happen?!
I told my friends.
My dad is a dad but he's also a bird.
Keiichi.
Some kids laughed but... Kaneko said he was cool.
"A bird-dad is just like an animation hero."
"Can your dad fly?" I told him he will soon.
It's cool with me. No matter what dad is.
Everything changes.
Dad being a bird really hinges on our perspective.
Dad merely changed.
Next, we have to change.
Having a bird-dad has advantages.
We can't be sad forever.
We should enjoy being with bird-dad.
After all, life is short, right?
It's no skin off my nose if I never eat chicken again.
Hey!
Sorry to bother you so late but...
I'm going home and I wanted to say bye.
Thanks to you, I was able to perform a most worthwhile job.
And if there's any chance that I might be of service in the future.
Thank you ever so much.
Here's a small token of...
I'm terribly sorry. It seems I've made a mistake.
Don't sweat it.
This won't take long.
Of course, it will be no charge. This won't take long.
Huh?
Hello?
I'm truly sorry. My mistake.
This time I won't fail you.
I said forget about it.
Forget about it.
Where are you?!
I said forget about it. Stop!
No need to worry.
I'll be done soon.
I said no. Forget it.
We found her.
Hold it!
What... c-can I do for you today?
That photo...
Really nicely taken, huh?
If you'd like, I'll give you one.
H-Hold it. W-W-W-What are you doing?
What are YOU doing?
Me? I wonder.
What? What are you doing?
We're high up.
Directed by Gen Sekiguchi
Subtitles by Christian Storms