1
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:32,951
What up, my lovely females! This is
your boy, Costa, your host for the evening.

2
00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:37,212
Behind me is Thomas Kub's house.
Today is Thomas Kub's birthday.

3
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:40,591
And this is Project X, yo.

4
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:51,469
<i>Hey, we want some pussy</i>

5
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:59,318
<i>Hey, we want some pussy</i>

6
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,195
Birthday cake. Mm.

7
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:05,899
- Dax, my dick is gonna get so wet tonight.
- Excuse me.

8
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,990
Shit. Um, Mrs. Kub,
I thought you guys left already.

9
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:13,157
- So, what's getting wet tonight?
- Uh...

10
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,917
Nothing. I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Kub.

11
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,829
- Who's your friend?
- Don't worry about him.

12
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:21,090
We're shooting this birthday movie
for Thomas.

13
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,592
Like this day-in-the-life type thing.
No big deal.

14
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,878
He's still in the shower.

15
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,214
See you later.

16
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,303
Fuck me, that was close.

17
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,269
Dax.

18
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,860
Happy birthday, motherfucker!

19
00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,200
Whoa, shit! What the fuck, dude?

20
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,533
What the fuck?
- I'm jerking off to your mom.

21
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:59,294
So, dude, it's your last day
of being a loser. How does it feel?

22
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,751
You're such a dick, Costa.

23
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,665
Shit never gets old.

24
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,510
<i>Wait for another day</i>

25
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,263
What's up, Dax?
How'd they rope you into this?

26
00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:12,299
He's one of J.B.'s guys from Gay-V Club.

27
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:15,060
He's a fucking weirdo, I know,
but he's a solid shooter.

28
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,846
And he's gonna make us look pimp,
and you fucking better.

29
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,266
Thomas, get down here!

30
00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:22,275
Oh, shit. Let's go.

31
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,568
You said your parents would be gone by 7.

32
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,607
I don't wanna go talk to your fucking dad.

33
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:36,870
No food in the living room. Your mother
will kill me and I'll have to kill you.

34
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:39,126
- Here's 40 bucks for pizza, okay?
- Oh, cool.

35
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:42,163
You guys can have that.
Knock yourself out.

36
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,252
Back door or turn the alarm system off.

37
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:47,918
And look, Thomas, I'm not an idiot.
I know you're gonna have friends over.

38
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,964
- Dad, what do you think is gonna happen?
- Mr. Kub, honestly, we have no...

39
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,348
Mm-mm. I'm sorry. Who are you?

40
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:54,804
- This is Dax.
- What is this?

41
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,061
He's shooting a movie for my
birthday, you know, a little present.

42
00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:01,269
- Didn't know you had Goth friends.
- He's just a friend from school.

43
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,853
Four or five friends, tops.

44
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,815
I'm just asking that you please
respect my house, okay?

45
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,445
All right, fine.

46
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,864
So leave the gate open for the gardener.

47
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:13,118
And I know I don't need to tell you,
but my car is off limits.

48
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:15,278
- Yeah, Dad, I know.
- Good. Okay.

49
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,789
The pool heater, don't touch it.

50
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,667
And also, guys,
do not go in my office, right?

51
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:24,626
I have three projects I'm working on.
I don't want anybody in there, clear?

52
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:27,132
- Get out, out, out.
- Dad...

53
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,010
Nothing goes in here, right?

54
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:33,843
Where's your mom?
I'm gonna get the bags.

55
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,642
What's going on? What's the matter?

56
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,474
- I'm just worried.
- About what?

57
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,185
I don't know.
Thomas, leaving him alone all weekend.

58
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,942
Oh, please, stop it. Come on, honey.
He's 17 years old.

59
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:47,478
That's what I'm worried about.

60
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,781
Let's be realistic here, okay?

61
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:54,159
This is Thomas we're talking about.
He's not exactly Mr. Popular.

62
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:58,072
- What is that supposed to mean?
- I'm just saying that he's not that type of kid.

63
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:02,334
He's got a couple of friends. They're gonna
hang out, but they're not gonna do anything.

64
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,711
He's a sweet kid, but...

65
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,831
...he's a loser.

66
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,802
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

67
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,339
Happy birthday, Thomas.
- Whoo! Yay!

68
00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:17,849
All right, honey, car is here.

69
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,601
- Boys, gotta get to school.
- Cool.

70
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,263
Hold on. We gotta give Thomas
his birthday present.

71
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,182
How cool is it that Thomas
was born on your anniversary?

72
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,726
What a great anniversary gift, a baby.

73
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,021
- Happy birthday, sweetie.
- Ahh.

74
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,155
- Mom's minivan? Nice.
- Yeah.

75
00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,533
It's just for school and back.
That's it, right?

76
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,365
- Yes. Thank you so much.
- Cool, right? You have a car now.

77
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:39,120
I know.
- Okay.

78
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,909
And, Milo, you take good care of Thomas,
okay? Momma's gonna miss you.

79
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,293
- Okay, bye.
- All right, see you guys.

80
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,705
Every one of my phone calls
gets answered, right?

81
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:49,669
- Yeah, I know.
- Every one. Okay.

82
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,378
- All right, have fun.
- Bye.

83
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,839
Happy anniversary.

84
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,547
Get off me, you little faggot dog.

85
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,215
- Yeah!
- It's on, motherfuckers!

86
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,851
- Whoo!
- Dude, chill out. Goddamn.

87
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:06,102
It was really cool of your mom and
dad to clean it out and wash it for you.

88
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,063
It's a free car.
I'm not about to complain about a free car.

89
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:12,821
It's not even a car. It's a fucking minivan.
We can't even roll in this.

90
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,279
Dude, too bad your dad didn't give you
the Benz. That'd have been sick.

91
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:19,786
You know what, you're right, Costa.
Let's just take your car.

92
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:23,415
- Oh, you don't have one.
- Good fucking joke, good fucking joke.

93
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,951
So, dog, you ready for tonight?

94
00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:30,213
I actually wanna talk to you about
that, you know, before we jump into it.

95
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,795
- I knew it. You're bitching out.
- What?

96
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,589
What? Dude, I'm not bitching out.

97
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:38,301
Thomas is bitching out
like the little bitch that he is.

98
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,592
Fuck you.
- Oh, my God.

99
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:46,346
- Oh, shit.
- We need this party. You need this party.

100
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,483
I'm just nervous.
What if nobody shows up? What if it sucks?

101
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,941
That's not an option.
People will show up.

102
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,572
Look at J.B. He's like a little fat
Rain Man, texting away.

103
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,944
Dude, stop. You're
telling me he doesn't need this?

104
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:08,377
Holy shit, dude. Your parents gave
you the minivan? That's awesome!

105
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,129
- Yeah.
- Hey, Costa. Hey, Dax.

106
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:15,755
That isn't happening. That's not real.

107
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:18,011
- Uh, excuse me...
- Sorry.

108
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,467
Hey, can I get to my locker right there?

109
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,724
Dude, why are you staring at my dick?

110
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:26,353
I wasn't. My locker's there.
Can I get to it?

111
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:30,982
- Whatever, you fucking weirdo.
- Dude, just let it go. Just come on.

112
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:37,031
- Hey, that's a sweet minivan, soccer mom.
- See? See what I told you?

113
00:06:38,607 --> 00:06:40,860
Is it true what I heard about you
at Zam's party?

114
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,494
You got a blowjob from his mom?

115
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,326
That party was so sick.
Everyone got laid.

116
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:47,331
Wheelchair Robert even got a handjob.

117
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,163
Nice.
- Are you kidding me?

118
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,670
Why the fuck weren't we
at that party, man?

119
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,626
So we missed a party, dude. Big deal.

120
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,086
It is a big deal. We miss every party.

121
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,628
I mean, did you hear that guy?
Wheelchair Robert got beat off.

122
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:03,173
I wanna show you something.
See this? Check this out.

123
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:06,184
That's Stasia. Gorgeous, right?
That's my girl back in Queens.

124
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:09,517
We could be crushing this kind of ass,
but we need a game changer.

125
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,727
I mean, no one even knows who we are.

126
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:14,985
If we want to be bigtime players,
we need to make a bigtime play.

127
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,694
You feel me?

128
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,356
J.B., what the fuck, man?
Why do you have a boner?

129
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,196
- I don't, it's just my underwear sitting funny.
- Cover up.

130
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,032
That's absolutely disgusting.

131
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:27,073
It's easy to talk shit when
the party's not even at your house.

132
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:32,335
Dude, please don't back out. This
party is gonna change everything for us.

133
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:35,464
Okay. Well, I mean,
I'm the one taking the whole risk.

134
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,374
All you do is show up and drink.

135
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,838
You think we'd ditch you
if something went wrong?

136
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:42,003
- I'm fucking offended, man.
- Yeah, me too.

137
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,423
The idea behind tonight is
to get these bitches...

138
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,557
...to recognize us as large-scale ballers.

139
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,890
Back in Queens,
I had hoes blowing me on the reg.

140
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:54,058
- I started hanging out with you two. Zero!
- I just don't really see the point any more.

141
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:57,649
How do you not see the point?
There's the point. There's the point.

142
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:58,858
Okay.

143
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,148
There's two more fucking points
right there! It's all around you.

144
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,361
Dude, I get it.

145
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:06,324
If you fuck this up, I will stab you.
I'm not kidding.

146
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,739
- Okay, no more than 20 people.
- Twenty people?

147
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,748
- All right, 30 people.
- Thirty people?

148
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:15,253
- To make sure my house doesn't get fucked. J.B.:
Thirty people won't change anything for us.

149
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,131
All right, look, okay, 50 people,
absolute max.

150
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:21,589
Fine, 50 people, absolute max.

151
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,924
You know, just big enough to be cool.

152
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:29,560
<i>Sand, an adversary in many ways
more dangerous than those carrying weapons.</i>

153
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,016
Mass marketing, handled.

154
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,494
- Shh.
- Yeah, of course, Jack. Anything.

155
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,875
And if you guys get there
before we get there...

156
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,287
...you can just get in the backyard
and set up...

157
00:08:56,453 --> 00:09:01,300
- ...and do what you gotta do.
- Dax, Dax. Go film over the top.

158
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,052
Okay. Really, we appreciate that.

159
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,134
Oh, uh... I have to call you back, sir.
I'm sorry.

160
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,470
What are you doing?
Get the fuck out of here!

161
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:13,057
What the fuck are you doing?
- Guys. Hey, guys, what the fuck?

162
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,810
Are you fucking with me right now?

163
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,271
Look. That was a
business call for your party.

164
00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:21,402
Who takes a shit and
makes a business call?

165
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,689
- Are you kidding?
- Now you can shit in peace.

166
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,825
Come on, dude. I can't see a thing.
It's dark as fuck in here.

167
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:32,493
Dax, come on. Let's get closer.

168
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,667
- Heh, heh.
- It should be pretty cool, I think.

169
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,293
Basically chill.

170
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,125
I'm letting Costa plan most of it.

171
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,666
Oh, that sounds like a really
brilliant idea.

172
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:46,678
No, he's doing a good job. He's getting,
like, a bunch of booze and then...

173
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,634
...I think, like, a DJ.

174
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,641
- A DJ. Super chill.
- Ha.

175
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,562
Guess what Mama Kub
and Papa Kub got for...

176
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,894
- Baby Kub?
- ...Baby Kub for his birthday.

177
00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,059
- What?
- The Kub Mobile.

178
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,524
- They gave you the minivan?
- For my birthday, yes.

179
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,529
Your parents give the worst gifts ever.

180
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:07,361
- Where's your present?
- You serious?

181
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,697
You haven't gotten me a present
in 10 years.

182
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,281
So?

183
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:16,666
But since I am a better friend than you,
I did get you something.

184
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:19,453
- Oh.
- I'll bring it tonight. Hey, I have to go run.

185
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,963
- Happy birthday, loser.
- Ow.

186
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,883
- Don't trip.
- Ow!

187
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:27,715
- Oh, shit!
- I'm okay! Heh.

188
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,551
- Thomas, suck my cock.
- What?

189
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:34,263
- "Mama Kub and Papa Kub"? Jesus.
- Yeah, those are my parents, asshole.

190
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,766
Damn, she's so fucking hot, dude.

191
00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:41,816
- Think she'll come tonight? COSTA: I'm
not inviting her. You do this one.

192
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,605
Alexis won't come.
She fucks college dudes.

193
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:54,117
"Lamel"? What? I don't know any Lamel.

194
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,451
No, he's cool.

195
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,583
Guys, the last thing I want in my house
is a bunch of randoms.

196
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,585
Wrong. Last thing you want
is nobody at your fucking house.

197
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:05,669
The more word gets around, the more likely
these chicks will show up at our party.

198
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,802
Watch and learn how
Captain Big Dick does it.

199
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,388
Hey, girls. Just remember,
wear something tight.

200
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,935
What's up, sisters?
Thomas Kub's house, 8:00.

201
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,225
Come get a piece of this white chocolate.

202
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:26,065
Are you gonna be going to
Thomas's birthday party tonight?

203
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,355
- Thomas? Who's that?
- Who's Thomas?

204
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:35,078
That thing that dick in
the sweater vest was telling us about?

205
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,079
What's up, baby? Eight o'clock.

206
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,207
What are your expectations
for the party?

207
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:46,122
Get high, fuck bitches, you already know.

208
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:49,418
- I think we'll come. Can we bring people?
- Can I bring people?

209
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,712
Thomas Kub's house, 8:00.

210
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:00,394
Oh, shit!

211
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,268
Ahh!

212
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,482
What we are witnessing is truly
a breathtaking moment...

213
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,646
...in the life of young Thomas.

214
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:14,693
The helpless fetus is growing
a tiny, tiny penis...

215
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:20,245
...a penis he may someday insert
into this female's vagina...

216
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:26,163
...should he survive his first encounter
without her eating him.

217
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,844
Paper towels. Get long.

218
00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,014
Don't!
- Dude, get a ton.

219
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,559
Oh, shit. Extra-large condoms.
I'm not paying for that shit.

220
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,529
Attention, valued shoppers.

221
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:52,735
Oh, my God.

222
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:56,367
Join us for an evening of balls-deep
entertainment at Thomas Kub's house.

223
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,028
Dude, stop.

224
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:05,293
Hey, little buddy.
Want something to drink? Hey.

225
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,671
He's gonna catch him
and he's gonna get his ass kicked.

226
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:15,170
- You guys, we good on OJ?
- Sunny D, dude.

227
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:17,634
Grab it. Throw it in. I love...

228
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,174
How are we doing on eggs?

229
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,557
Holy shit, dude. It's Miles Teller.

230
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,731
- Dude, it is. That's him. Holy shit.
- He's so badass.

231
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,234
Yeah, my boy's starting
at second base for USC.

232
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,896
He got sent to detention once
and banged the teacher.

233
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,064
Mi-Tell, what's cracking, bro?

234
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,825
- We go to North Pass.
- Yeah, dude, big fans.

235
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,658
Huge fans.
- Cool. Awesome.

236
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,743
Look, we're making a movie.

237
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:46,330
- Invite him, man. Come on.
- All right. Okay. Um...

238
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:51,714
We're having a soirée at my place tonight.
If you wanna swing by, it should be...

239
00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,092
My boy is underselling this
like a motherfucker.

240
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,594
This shit's gonna be legit.
You should swing by.

241
00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:00,223
Yeah, I can't. I actually got other plans
tonight, so I might not make it.

242
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:04,386
Dude, think about it. It's on Dickens Street.
We'd love to have you.

243
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,429
- Uh, Dickens Street?
- Yeah.

244
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,473
That's your party? You're throwing that?

245
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,937
That's where I'm going.
Heard it's gonna be crazy.

246
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,853
That's my party. I'm Thomas Kub.
It's my birthday today.

247
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,614
Yeah, I heard it's gonna be unlimited
high-school pussy.

248
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,071
Dude, high-school pussy for days.

249
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,112
What? Mind your own business, lady.

250
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,326
How you guys doing on liquor?
You got liquor?

251
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:25,536
Uh...

252
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,952
Don't even worry about it, man.
I'll bring it, call my boys up.

253
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,621
- Don't want you to sweat anything.
- Thank you so much.

254
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,257
Hey, it's your day. Cool.
See you guys tonight, then.

255
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,258
All right, cool.
- Dickens Street.

256
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,296
- Teller, bring your mitt.
We'll play catch. MILES: No.

257
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,464
- Fuck.
- "Bring your mitt"? The fuck?

258
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,633
<i>Nothing like black pussy on my dick</i>

259
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,552
<i>Word to the motherfucking DJ Quik</i>

260
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,141
Okay, here's what I want.

261
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,353
Party's limited to the backyard, okay?

262
00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:54,440
The house'll be locked
and the alarm'll be set.

263
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,363
- No one is going inside, all right?
- Stop.

264
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,650
- Throw down in the bushes?
- I don't care.

265
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,990
If I don't fuck a girl with big
tits tonight, I'm drowning myself.

266
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:06,247
Don't care if she's 300 pounds.
I have to fuck a girl with big tits.

267
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,329
- Oh, my God.
- Feel my drift, J.B.?

268
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,583
Sure do.

269
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:14,168
I mean, I'd love to get some oral or,
you know, at least do some finger-banging.

270
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:17,129
What? Finger-banging?
Can you please elaborate?

271
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,337
You take your first finger,
your thumb and your middle finger.

272
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,463
Make a "come here" motion. "Come here."

273
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:25,179
This is called "machine guns"
or "friendly scissors."

274
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,810
The "circle of pleasure."
The "itsy-bitsy spider."

275
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:29,937
Tapping and circling. Tap, tap, tap.

276
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,349
Keep telling her how pretty
she is the whole time.

277
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:34,017
Shut the fuck up!

278
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,652
- Your loss, man. It's good knowledge.
- Oh, my God.

279
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,985
- Straight up here, then take a right again.
- All right, listen.

280
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:43,948
The three of us will have full access
to the house for sex and finger-banging.

281
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,329
- Yes.
- But no one else, okay?

282
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:48,489
Of course, bro, we got your back.

283
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,033
- Hey, take a right.
- Here?

284
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:52,873
- You're gonna want to lock your doors.
- Are you serious?

285
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,709
- Yes, I'm serious.
- Where the fuck are we going?

286
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,796
T-Rick's.
Gotta score some of that chronic shit.

287
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,461
- Are you sure this guy's cool?
T-Rick's the coolest.

288
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,847
He's ex-military. Wait till you see
his gun collection. Fucking insane.

289
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,349
This place is ghetto as fuck.

290
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,852
Why do we have to come all the way here?
We can't just get it at school?

291
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,810
Where do you think the school gets it?
This is wholesale.

292
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,441
You are literally retarded.

293
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,819
Ah, shut the fuck up.

294
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,195
Ah! Fuck.

295
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:21,947
T-Rick, open up.

296
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,662
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hey, what's up, bro?

297
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,573
- I haven't seen you in a minute, Costa.
- Yeah.

298
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:33,414
- Nice to see you.
- How are you doing? Everything copacetic?

299
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:36,170
Everything's great. You upgraded the dish.
Looks great.

300
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,297
Yeah, I fucking did, upscaled it.

301
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,129
- Upscaled it. I fucking did.
- Yeah.

302
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,259
- These are my boys, J.B. and Thomas.
- Hi.

303
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,046
All right, yeah, yeah.
Come on in, come on in.

304
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:54,347
Oh, yeah, that was a 12-millimeter
semi-automatic Mossberg Maverick.

305
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,939
- I'd love to go to the range with you.
- Yeah, that's a good idea.

306
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,354
Going on the range,
get it all out of your system.

307
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,906
Pretend you're killing cops, if you want.

308
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,988
<i>You're beautiful</i>

309
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:09,946
<i>You're beautiful, it's true</i>

310
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:14,200
<i>I saw your face</i>

311
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,869
<i>In a crowded place</i>

312
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,290
All right, well, I'll get your stuff.
Here, stoke up the fires, buddy.

313
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,333
Oh, man, you the man.
Fuck, yeah, T-Rick.

314
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:24,423
Yeah, kick ass with that.

315
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:26,762
Hey. Can we get going?

316
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,718
Costa, come sit down, dude.
He's about to fucking...

317
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,854
- Check it out.
- What are you doing?

318
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,480
Fucking stop.

319
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,809
That's technically a homosexual act.

320
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,354
I'm coming on Santa Claus's face.

321
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:45,273
Costa, he's coming back.

322
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,817
- Dax, take it, take it.
- What the fuck are you doing?

323
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,658
- Dude, are you stealing it?
- No, we're just borrowing it.

324
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:53,118
We need a fucking mascot for the party.

325
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,334
Jesus Christ.

326
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,039
Here you go.

327
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,546
Let's do this, I gotta be at the dojo by 5.

328
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,127
- Absolutely.
- Cool.

329
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,379
See, I told you guys,
T-Rick's just a sweetheart. Mm.

330
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:09,971
Smell it, J.B.

331
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,975
- You little fucking cocksuckers!
- Oh, fuck!

332
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:15,228
- Give me back my fucking gnome!
- Fuck!

333
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:18,185
Give him the gnome back.
Give him the fucking gnome back.

334
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,395
- No, fuck that! Just go.
- Get out of here!

335
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:22,606
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, fuck!

336
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:27,031
Holy shit, Thomas, he's fucking wild!
He's a fucking crazy man!

337
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,612
Holy shit! He's gone! He fell off!

338
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:34,618
- Holy shit, man!
- Holy shit!

339
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,543
Shit, shit, shit!

340
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:43,127
That's my boy Tom! That was
some serious fucking shit right there!

341
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,711
What in the fucking world?

342
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,468
Fuck. Shit.

343
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,925
- Oh, my God.
- Shit.

344
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,224
God, dude,
he fucking cracked my windshield.

345
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:57,558
Fuck it, my cousin owns a body shop.
He can fix it, no problem, man.

346
00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,931
The kung fu no good here.

347
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,941
Oh, fuck! Holy shit!
- Give me back my gnome!

348
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,855
Holy shit! Guy's like
the fucking Terminator! Jesus!

349
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:10,651
- No, he was super pissed though.
- Dude scares the shit out of me.

350
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:13,236
Hey, boss.

351
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,779
What the fuck?

352
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,744
There he is.
This is Everett and his boy Tyler.

353
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,750
They're running security for the night.

354
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,412
Are you serious? Are those nunchucks?

355
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,750
- Yeah.
- Oh, shit.

356
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,007
Look like ninjas.
- Ninjas are fucking pussies!

357
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,587
I love this kid.
- You know it.

358
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:29,923
With these two,
we got nothing to worry about.

359
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,929
- We're outside the Kub house.
- Hey.

360
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,090
- We have bogeys.
- What up, Costa?

361
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:35,633
Do I know you guys?

362
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,098
We heard about your shindig tonight.
We want in.

363
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,352
You freshmen?
- Yeah.

364
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:42,106
Get the fuck out of here, man.
- Come on, dude.

365
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,484
Are you still talking?
Get the fuck out of here.

366
00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:46,940
Dick!

367
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,233
J.B., drop those bags.
We got work to do.

368
00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:00,033
Hi. Good evening, Mrs. Stillson.
My name's Oliver.

369
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,746
This is my friend Jonathan.

370
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,378
- And we're both friends of Thomas Kub's.
- Oh.

371
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,131
Yeah, we're hosting a little birthday party
for Thomas.

372
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,963
And we wanted to give you
the courtesy of informing you...

373
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,800
...that there'd possibly be
a bit of party-related noise.

374
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:16,182
I wanted to give you my number
in case you had problems or concerns.

375
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:19,310
You're a very beautiful woman.
Call me anytime you want.

376
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,563
- Thank you. That's very sweet of you.
- I mean that when I say that.

377
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,939
You are very beautiful.

378
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,146
...a little party for Thomas.
He lives there.

379
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,605
Am I invited?

380
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,987
- Yeah, dude, fine. Yeah, you can come by.
- Nice.

381
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,524
Thank you very much.
Have a good time at your party.

382
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,284
Thank you, I appreciate this.
Come by anytime you want.

383
00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:37,116
- All right, see you.
- All right.

384
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:38,746
- Bye, baby.
- See you guys.

385
00:20:56,046 --> 00:21:00,677
Hi, uh, my name's J.B. I'm a friend of
Thomas Kub, your neighbor across the street.

386
00:21:00,843 --> 00:21:03,517
I just wanted to let you know
that we're gonna be having a party...

387
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,808
...and it may get a little loud and noisy,
but I just wanted to let you know...

388
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,695
...that if you have any concerns, just let
me know and I'll be glad to help out.

389
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,481
You can call me, uh,
you could send me a text message.

390
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:16,491
I'm an open guy. I even have
a Facebook account. You can send me:

391
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:20,700
"it's a little too loud," and I'll be like, "I'll
tell them to keep it down." You know how it goes?

392
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,409
- DJ's over there.
- Cool.

393
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:27,454
- Um, got the bar set up over here.
- Nice.

394
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,167
- Karaoke in the pool house.
- Nice.

395
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:32,675
Holy shit, dude!
Where'd you get a bouncy-house?

396
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,131
- Costa hooked it up.
- You know it, baby.

397
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:39,223
Fifty bucks extra with the port-a-potty.
And they threw these in for free.

398
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,760
- Nice touch.
- Why not? It's a birthday party.

399
00:21:42,927 --> 00:21:44,304
You wanna help? Do something.

400
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:47,474
- Hey, Chubs, grab your twin brother there.
- Fucking dick.

401
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,268
- Hey, dudes, check it out.
- Yeah, like that's gonna work.

402
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:53,688
Yes, it is gonna work. Next time
your pool guy's here, he'll be like:

403
00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:57,154
"Excuse me, Mr. Kub. I seem
to have found some water in your semen."

404
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,034
That's fucking disgusting.

405
00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,332
J.B., I thought I told you to pick up ice.

406
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,835
I did. It's in the freezer in the garage.

407
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:10,872
- What the fuck are you doing?
- Getting in shape for the party.

408
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:13,882
- The party's in three hours.
- It's mostly water weight.

409
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:17,170
- Wrestlers do it all the time.
- Wrestlers also wrestle all the time.

410
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:18,508
- Crank this thing up.
- No.

411
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:21,015
It's not gonna work
unless you crank it up.

412
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:24,635
Stop. Stop. Stop.

413
00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,896
- Let's go, come on.
- Dax. Dax, help me.

414
00:22:27,054 --> 00:22:29,523
- No, Dax, you're here to observe.
- Help me! Dax! Aah!

415
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:34,859
Jesus Christ! Are you all right, dude?
Oh, my God, J.B., are you all right?

416
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,274
An hour from now,
this place is a fucking madhouse.

417
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,569
Not a madhouse, just gonna be a fun,
decent-sized party.

418
00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:45,035
Relax. For you. You.

419
00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,915
Me. Dax.

420
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,997
Thank you, I don't drink alcohol.

421
00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,911
Okay, faggot.

422
00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:54,924
- To one sick fucking night.
- Cheers.

423
00:23:00,421 --> 00:23:03,049
<i>Come on over, over</i>

424
00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:08,642
Shit! Come on!

425
00:23:08,804 --> 00:23:11,683
Yes. How are you so fucking bad
at this game, Costa?

426
00:23:11,849 --> 00:23:14,398
Shut up, Kirby.
You're killing my concentration right now.

427
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,528
- Ha, ha! Thomas, come here!
- Fucker!

428
00:23:16,687 --> 00:23:18,610
I'm kicking Costa's ass!

429
00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:20,695
Oh, watch this.

430
00:23:20,858 --> 00:23:22,860
- Shit!
- It looks like I win.

431
00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:25,371
Fuck you.
- You guys, it's like 9:20 already.

432
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,998
Dude, relax.
People are gonna show up. I promise, bro.

433
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:30,876
Getting late.
- I'll look like such a dick if no one shows.

434
00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:34,960
Shut the fuck up. It's pissing me off that
you don't trust me to know what I'm doing.

435
00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,376
I'm the hub of a large social circle.
I put the word out, it goes out.

436
00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:40,044
Okay, cool.

437
00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:42,588
- Oh, shit.
- What the fuck are you wearing?

438
00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:45,304
- My God.
- Nice.

439
00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:50,017
You're gonna get laid, dude.
- Ladies love a guy with class.

440
00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:52,477
Are you retarded?

441
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:56,561
Jesus Christ, man.
Where do you even get shit like that?

442
00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:59,321
- Men's Wearhouse.
- Men's Wearhouse? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

443
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,616
What is it?

444
00:24:02,775 --> 00:24:06,200
- Wow, dude, this is fucking...
- I can't believe it fucking worked.

445
00:24:06,362 --> 00:24:08,615
What did I say?
Don't doubt the master, bitches!

446
00:24:22,211 --> 00:24:23,838
Dude, we done good.

447
00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:25,847
Jesus, all those chicks are really hot.

448
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:28,008
- They're coming in packs.
- This is insane.

449
00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:32,355
<i>Beat it, I bet she let me
She been fiendin' since she met me</i>

450
00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:35,232
<i>I'm the coolest shit
Especially when I throw on all my Gretzky</i>

451
00:24:35,391 --> 00:24:38,110
<i>Got my Smith and Wessie to protect me
So respect me</i>

452
00:24:40,437 --> 00:24:42,189
What up, baby girl?

453
00:24:42,356 --> 00:24:44,324
<i>Andretti on Pirelli
Make a movie out the getty</i>

454
00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:47,032
<i>Where my ring and my confetti?
I'm Kobe Bryant ready</i>

455
00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:48,821
<i>Pink rosé and chronic smelly</i>

456
00:24:49,029 --> 00:24:51,157
Dude, this is way more than 50 people.

457
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:52,870
Of course it is, it's plus-one.

458
00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:57,205
That's fucking Alexis, dude.
She came, man.

459
00:24:57,371 --> 00:24:59,544
- Damn, dude.
- Whoa.

460
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:03,260
Thomas, this is your party,
and she's the hottest girl here.

461
00:25:03,419 --> 00:25:06,423
- That better be yours tonight.
- Damn.

462
00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:28,922
<i>White trash party Pull a
fifth of Bacardi from out of my underwear</i>

463
00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,715
<i>And walk around the party without a care</i>

464
00:26:30,881 --> 00:26:33,805
- Where the fuck is your drink, Thomas?
- I'm between beverages.

465
00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:37,267
What the fuck does that even mean?
J.B., get this bitch a drink.

466
00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:38,931
Yeah, all right.

467
00:26:40,182 --> 00:26:43,061
<i>Everybody in the club gettin' tipsy</i>

468
00:26:43,811 --> 00:26:45,484
Who's that dude with the mustache?

469
00:26:45,646 --> 00:26:48,069
Oh, that's LaRosa. He graduated.

470
00:26:48,232 --> 00:26:50,655
When, in 1986?

471
00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:53,287
Hey, will you at least try
and have a good time?

472
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:55,163
Whoo!

473
00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,873
Got it? You tie it?

474
00:26:57,032 --> 00:26:59,831
- He's good. Ready to go.
- Blast off.

475
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:06,838
<i>Pennies up at skinnies
Man, I do this for them bunnies</i>

476
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,798
That is not fucking cool.

477
00:27:08,961 --> 00:27:10,588
Oh, my God, it's a flying dog!

478
00:27:10,754 --> 00:27:13,052
<i>'Cause, homey
That hood is tighter than Kenny's</i>

479
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:16,348
It's just like <i>Up.</i>

480
00:27:16,510 --> 00:27:18,683
It's my fucking dog.

481
00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:20,189
I gotta record this.

482
00:27:20,347 --> 00:27:22,020
Are you serious right now?

483
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:25,186
- Fuck this, I'm putting him inside.
- Let me help you.

484
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,855
Hey.

485
00:27:30,732 --> 00:27:33,781
Can you imagine
if your mom ever saw that?

486
00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:35,446
<i>It's my fucking dog.</i>

487
00:27:35,612 --> 00:27:37,114
Poor Milo.

488
00:27:38,532 --> 00:27:40,955
I don't know. It's pretty funny.

489
00:27:41,118 --> 00:27:44,463
- Maybe I'll post it on YouTube.
- No, don't, don't, don't.

490
00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:45,918
Seriously, stop. Stop.

491
00:27:46,081 --> 00:27:49,301
Come on, you're way too easy. I love it.

492
00:27:49,459 --> 00:27:50,927
I hate you.

493
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:55,178
You'll be okay, Milo. I promise.

494
00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:03,899
All right, well, um,
we better get back out there.

495
00:28:06,059 --> 00:28:07,857
Hey, yo, Kub. Hey, yo, what up, dog?

496
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,567
Yo, what's up, bro?

497
00:28:09,730 --> 00:28:12,984
<i>Let me see what you got
Now shake that thing</i>

498
00:28:13,150 --> 00:28:15,198
- Hey, man, what's up?
- Nice party, man.

499
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,159
Hey, thanks. Would you guys mind
getting off my dad's car?

500
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:20,700
It's just he'll go crazy
if anything happens to it.

501
00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,243
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- All right.

502
00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:24,753
- Thanks, man, I appreciate it.
- Yeah, no problem.

503
00:28:24,912 --> 00:28:27,165
Thomas! You're taking a bullet
from me right now.

504
00:28:27,331 --> 00:28:29,584
- What is that?
- Tequila. Just fucking take it.

505
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,593
- All right. Fuck, dude.
- Come here. Come on.

506
00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,301
Ladies, who wants to take a shot
with the birthday boy?

507
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:36,557
- Hell, yeah.
- Whoa, uh... Oh.

508
00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:38,934
- Careful.
- She's a professional. Open up.

509
00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:41,470
Take it. Oh, my God,
she's got a deep throat.

510
00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:45,733
- Okay, open up, open up. Now.
- Yeah!

511
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,023
<i>Say what
Bitch, I'm about to blow up</i>

512
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,273
- Pardon? Oh, hey.
- Hey.

513
00:28:53,774 --> 00:28:56,197
- What's up, guys?
- Well, we did it.

514
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,113
This is amazing. How did we get
all these people to show up?

515
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:02,533
Check it out, guys. I'm pretty
sure it's that girl from Playboy.

516
00:29:02,699 --> 00:29:04,121
- Who?
- Oh, my God, it is her.

517
00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:07,504
She graduated three years ago.
She's in <i>Playboy's</i> Pac-10 issue.

518
00:29:07,663 --> 00:29:10,007
- Dibs.
- Yeah, like that's gonna happen.

519
00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,917
Well, I want to declare it, just in case.

520
00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:15,379
- Whoa.
- Oh, shit.

521
00:29:17,047 --> 00:29:18,264
We're fucked!

522
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,050
What? Oh, hey, what's going on?

523
00:29:20,217 --> 00:29:22,970
- There's people in the house!
- Oh, shit.

524
00:29:23,136 --> 00:29:24,604
- Hey, Costa.
- I'm understaffed.

525
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,437
- Come on, I need your fucking help, man.
- Goddamn it.

526
00:29:27,599 --> 00:29:29,647
Wow. Whoa.

527
00:29:31,478 --> 00:29:35,073
Hey. Hey, hi. Hi. Welcome.
Welcome to party. Welcome, welcome.

528
00:29:35,232 --> 00:29:36,279
- Yo!
- Miles!

529
00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:38,443
Little dude. What's up, man?
How we doing?

530
00:29:38,610 --> 00:29:40,658
- That's Ashley, Rachel, Sarah.
- Hi, hi.

531
00:29:40,821 --> 00:29:44,121
I brought all these people to your party.
Fucking camera creeps me out.

532
00:29:44,283 --> 00:29:46,786
- Yeah, it's... Don't worry
Let's go.

533
00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:49,501
I'm talking about the fucking people
in the house.

534
00:29:49,663 --> 00:29:53,008
My parents are gonna crucify me
if anything gets fucked up.

535
00:29:53,166 --> 00:29:57,421
I don't care if everyone thinks I'm a dick.
I'm getting them out of the house. Now.

536
00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:59,806
Fuck, hey, stop, seriously.

537
00:30:00,424 --> 00:30:02,552
Dude, what the fuck are you doing?

538
00:30:03,260 --> 00:30:05,729
- Please don't embarrass me like this.
- Hey, listen up!

539
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:07,560
Yeah, Thomas! Whoo!

540
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:15,364
Yeah, bro! Birthday boy on the table!
That's what I like to see, baby.

541
00:30:15,522 --> 00:30:16,899
- You having a good time?
- Yeah.

542
00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:21,411
Come on, guys, let's start making
some drinks. Let's get crazy in this bitch.

543
00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:30,000
Can I help you, sir?

544
00:30:30,162 --> 00:30:32,631
- I'm here to see Thomas.
- First and last name, please.

545
00:30:32,789 --> 00:30:34,791
I'm Rob, the neighbor.
Who the fuck are you?

546
00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:38,053
- I'll ask the questions, sir.
- Exactly. Get the hell out of my way.

547
00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:50,390
- Rob, hey. What can I do for you, man?
- Hey.

548
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:53,231
Look, man, I don't mean to be
a dick here or anything.

549
00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:56,863
Oliver came over earlier and told me
you guys were having a little party...

550
00:30:57,022 --> 00:30:58,274
...but this is too much.

551
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,910
Yeah, we actually should be winding down,
like midnight, I mean, maybe 1.

552
00:31:02,069 --> 00:31:03,412
- Is that okay?
- No, it's not.

553
00:31:03,570 --> 00:31:05,914
The baby can't sleep,
Melinda works early tomorrow.

554
00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:08,917
Fuck, yeah!
My boy Rob is here to rage! Mwah!

555
00:31:09,076 --> 00:31:11,295
- Good to see you.
- Actually, I'm not raging.

556
00:31:11,453 --> 00:31:13,547
I'm telling Thomas
it's time to shut it down.

557
00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:15,707
You can't be serious.
This is a great party.

558
00:31:15,874 --> 00:31:18,923
I am serious, because it's 11:30 at night.
It's time to wrap it up.

559
00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:20,929
Hey, hey, hey.

560
00:31:21,088 --> 00:31:23,762
Why don't we bring everyone to the back,
lower the volume?

561
00:31:23,924 --> 00:31:26,268
Guys, this isn't a request.
The party's over.

562
00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:29,680
I guess we're just gonna have to
agree to disagree, then, aren't we?

563
00:31:29,846 --> 00:31:32,770
Listen to me, Thomas. Either shut
it down or I'm calling the cops.

564
00:31:32,933 --> 00:31:34,526
Ahh.

565
00:31:34,684 --> 00:31:36,937
Fine. Fuck it.
I'm calling the fucking cops... Aah!

566
00:31:37,104 --> 00:31:38,947
- Fuck!
- Oh, shit!

567
00:31:39,106 --> 00:31:41,780
Jesus fucking Christ!
What'd you do that for?

568
00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:44,786
Are you kidding me?
I will fucking kill you!

569
00:31:44,945 --> 00:31:47,789
The little fuck Tased me!
I'm definitely calling the cops now!

570
00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:50,667
You punched a kid in the face!
I'm calling the cops on you.

571
00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:54,171
Do it, genius. It's all on tape.
I just saw this motherfucker record it.

572
00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:56,878
All I got was you punching
that little child's face.

573
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,337
Fuck you.

574
00:31:58,500 --> 00:31:59,797
Go home, Robert!

575
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:02,008
It was just a kid, man!

576
00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:05,758
- Are you all right, man?
- Is he okay?

577
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,392
You're a fucking champion.

578
00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:10,805
He sucker-punched you.
You'd own that bitch in a real fight.

579
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:12,143
- You think so?
- I know so.

580
00:32:12,305 --> 00:32:14,307
Fuck that asshole. You're killing it, bro.

581
00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:17,068
Yo, Costa, what's up?
- Yo, go in the back.

582
00:32:17,227 --> 00:32:20,982
I need you to dial back like 10, 15 percent.
You can't hard-charge all the time.

583
00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:23,242
All right? And lose the Taser, okay?

584
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,653
- Got it.
- Get down here.

585
00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:28,038
We need a post
up at the cockbiter's house.

586
00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:31,746
If he calls the cops,
I want you to radio it over to me, okay?

587
00:32:34,661 --> 00:32:36,663
Get out of here. Go.

588
00:32:44,546 --> 00:32:47,891
Alexis was eye-fucking you,
and you got college girls on your dick.

589
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:49,847
- You're golden!
- Dude, I'm so fucked.

590
00:32:50,010 --> 00:32:53,105
- Relax, man, everything's going great.
- Shit.

591
00:32:53,263 --> 00:32:56,267
Are you fucking kidding me?
Didn't I tell you two to fuck off?

592
00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:59,152
- Get down here now.
- Come on, there's like 200 people here.

593
00:32:59,311 --> 00:33:01,814
I don't care.
T, get these freshmen out of here.

594
00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:04,699
This is a party for grownups.
Let's fucking go.

595
00:33:04,858 --> 00:33:06,986
Makes no sense.
This kid's younger than we are.

596
00:33:07,152 --> 00:33:09,621
How the hell did they get up there?
- Move it, fellas.

597
00:33:09,779 --> 00:33:12,532
- You too, get out of here.
- That's my boy. That's my boy.

598
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,122
See, the kid's a pro.
We got nothing to worry about.

599
00:33:15,285 --> 00:33:17,788
Dude, you heard Rob, man.
What if he calls the cops?

600
00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:21,049
The guy isn't gonna do shit.
He punched a 12-year-old in the face.

601
00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:24,929
Thomas, everything's under control.
Let's just have some fun.

602
00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:27,214
I got this, okay?

603
00:33:30,550 --> 00:33:32,723
Cannonball, bitches!

604
00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:44,782
<i>I don't care for fancy things</i>

605
00:33:44,940 --> 00:33:48,911
<i>Or to take part in the vicious race</i>

606
00:33:49,486 --> 00:33:51,580
This is the Thomas Kub pool cam.

607
00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:53,661
Dude, check it out. Check it out.

608
00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:56,084
Whoa, whoa, whoa, read the sign, honey.

609
00:33:56,243 --> 00:33:58,871
Sorry, I don't make the rules.

610
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:01,085
<i>Ra y-Ban vision,
these ain't no prescription</i>

611
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:04,709
No fucking way.

612
00:34:04,876 --> 00:34:06,173
Dude, go over there.

613
00:34:06,336 --> 00:34:08,259
Do you fucking believe this?

614
00:34:15,178 --> 00:34:20,105
<i>In this, feelin' tremendous
Lenses darker than the tint on my Benzes</i>

615
00:34:20,267 --> 00:34:21,564
Yeah! Ha, ha!

616
00:34:22,978 --> 00:34:26,027
<i>She told me take my glasses off
But she looks horrendous</i>

617
00:34:39,869 --> 00:34:42,292
<i>I see you haters coming
Niggas don't think that I'm slipping</i>

618
00:34:42,455 --> 00:34:44,128
<i>I got Ray-Ban vision</i>

619
00:34:47,168 --> 00:34:48,545
Whoo!

620
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:49,967
Whoo-hoo!

621
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,429
Oh, my God!
- Holy shit! Fucking insane!

622
00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,862
Oh, my God.
Dude, that sign fucking worked.

623
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,318
You gotta have faith, son.

624
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,403
Would you like a glass of wine?

625
00:35:09,566 --> 00:35:13,196
We've got red, we've got white.
You know, Cabernet, Merlot.

626
00:35:13,361 --> 00:35:14,908
Just another beer would be great.

627
00:35:15,071 --> 00:35:16,539
Uh...

628
00:35:16,990 --> 00:35:18,367
Here we are.

629
00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:23,421
Whoa.

630
00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:33,181
Wow. Okay.

631
00:35:39,262 --> 00:35:40,514
J.B.!

632
00:35:42,515 --> 00:35:45,644
How did this thing get up here?
Was someone in my parents' room?

633
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:48,859
It's a gnome. I guess he gets around.
Who cares, man?

634
00:35:49,022 --> 00:35:51,024
Well, I just don't want people up here.

635
00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:53,159
Besides, it's creepy. Look at him.

636
00:35:54,861 --> 00:35:57,865
- J.B., what are you looking for?
- To see if your dad has condoms.

637
00:35:58,031 --> 00:35:59,203
I'm working on something.

638
00:35:59,366 --> 00:36:01,915
Only thing you're working on
is diabetes, you fat fuck.

639
00:36:02,077 --> 00:36:06,048
- Oh, dude, Alexis just texted me.
- What? What's it say?

640
00:36:06,206 --> 00:36:08,880
"Body shots for the birthday boy
right now"?

641
00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:11,841
- Dude, it's fucking on!
- Check it out.

642
00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,722
J.B., seriously, what are you doing?
- Your dad is a freak.

643
00:36:14,881 --> 00:36:19,057
Stop. Give me that. Costa, stop, wait.
Costa, what are you doing?

644
00:36:19,219 --> 00:36:21,438
- Replying.
- Don't. Here, don't send that.

645
00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:25,021
- Sent. Too late, man.
- What did you write?

646
00:36:25,725 --> 00:36:28,228
"I want your ass too, Mommy"?

647
00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:30,614
"I want your ass, Mommy"?
Who talks like that?

648
00:36:30,772 --> 00:36:32,774
I do. The shit works.

649
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:35,820
Go. Go talk to her.

650
00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:37,950
Oh.

651
00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:56,431
<i>Hey, hey, hey, hey.</i>

652
00:37:04,472 --> 00:37:08,272
Wait. No, wait. What are you doing?
Not like that. Not like that.

653
00:37:09,728 --> 00:37:11,446
Like this.

654
00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:15,901
Put this in your mouth.

655
00:37:42,343 --> 00:37:43,640
Your turn.

656
00:37:43,803 --> 00:37:46,306
Kub! House phone! House phone!

657
00:37:48,433 --> 00:37:50,856
Shit. Sorry. Um...

658
00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:55,691
Excuse me. Sorry. Look out.
Sorry. Sorry. Excuse me.

659
00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:58,155
Oh, shit. Sorry.

660
00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:07,456
Dax, close that behind you.

661
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:09,371
Shit! Dax, find the phone.

662
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,667
Um, right, you know what?
Fuck it, just be quiet.

663
00:38:14,250 --> 00:38:16,298
- Hello.
<i>- Thomas. Are you there?</i>

664
00:38:16,461 --> 00:38:17,929
- Dad, hey.
<i>- Where have you been?</i>

665
00:38:18,087 --> 00:38:19,839
<i>We've been trying your cell all night.</i>

666
00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:23,931
<i>- We agreed all my calls would be answered.</i>
- I know. Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

667
00:38:24,093 --> 00:38:26,562
We were out in the hot tub,
so I didn't have it on me.

668
00:38:26,721 --> 00:38:29,019
<i>I don't want to find wet towels
when we get home.</i>

669
00:38:29,182 --> 00:38:32,026
<i>- I want to come home to a clean house.</i>
- Of course, definitely.

670
00:38:32,185 --> 00:38:35,234
<i>- We were just calling... What was that?</i>
- Dude, look at her.

671
00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:37,364
<i>What was that? Thomas?</i>

672
00:38:37,524 --> 00:38:40,619
Nothing. That was Costa.
You're on speakerphone.

673
00:38:40,777 --> 00:38:43,576
<i>We just wanted to call one last time
before going to bed...</i>

674
00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:46,366
<i>...make sure you're all set for the night.</i>

675
00:38:46,533 --> 00:38:48,706
Yep, all good.

676
00:38:48,868 --> 00:38:52,338
I'm actually about to
go to sleep right now, so...

677
00:38:52,497 --> 00:38:55,250
<i>Great. Well, we'll see you Sunday.
Happy birthday, Thomas.</i>

678
00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:58,010
- Thanks, Dad. Good night.
- Good night.

679
00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:07,724
Holy shit.

680
00:39:14,853 --> 00:39:16,400
Fuck, yeah!

681
00:39:16,563 --> 00:39:18,315
Oh, shit, I think that's his dad.

682
00:39:18,481 --> 00:39:21,735
What? I'm not here to bust anybody.
I'm just here to party.

683
00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:23,574
Ew!
- Come on, "Ew."

684
00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:25,238
Give me a break. You got a ball?

685
00:39:25,405 --> 00:39:27,203
Yeah, man.
- Let's do this.

686
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:30,335
Here we go. Paxson for three.

687
00:39:30,493 --> 00:39:32,040
Whoa, ho, ho, ho!

688
00:39:32,203 --> 00:39:36,253
Up high!
Come on, dude, right here. Yeah!

689
00:39:36,416 --> 00:39:38,418
Let me have that.

690
00:39:46,342 --> 00:39:47,389
<i>Hey</i>

691
00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:50,517
<i>Nasty, kid</i>

692
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:52,439
<i>Hey</i>

693
00:39:52,599 --> 00:39:56,194
What's that, dude? Hold on,
I can't fucking hear a thing you're saying.

694
00:39:57,437 --> 00:39:59,110
Speak up, E.

695
00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:02,902
What? E...
What the fuck are you doing here?

696
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:06,116
- What you gonna do about it, bitch?
- You're not invited, dickhead.

697
00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:10,583
Fucking asshole.

698
00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:14,625
Bro, what's happening?

699
00:40:14,787 --> 00:40:17,836
<i>Subject is arguing with
an overweight woman, most likely his wife</i>

700
00:40:17,999 --> 00:40:20,969
<i>She wants him to call the police.
He wants to handle it himself.</i>

701
00:40:21,127 --> 00:40:23,255
<i>He's drinking. They're in the kitchen.</i>

702
00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:25,799
<i>I'm upstairs. Kids are asleep. Over.</i>

703
00:40:25,965 --> 00:40:27,342
Wait, you're in their house?

704
00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:31,979
Are you fucking kidding me?
E, get the fuck out now!

705
00:40:33,139 --> 00:40:35,312
Negative. I'm a ghost. Out.

706
00:40:35,725 --> 00:40:38,353
What the fuck am I gonna do with this kid?

707
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:39,987
E! E!

708
00:41:09,717 --> 00:41:12,436
- Are you having fun?
- Yeah, I'm having a good time.

709
00:41:12,595 --> 00:41:14,518
It's pretty fucking crazy.

710
00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:19,356
Oh, my God.

711
00:41:19,519 --> 00:41:21,897
What was wrong with me?

712
00:41:22,063 --> 00:41:25,033
Wow, this was before Costa.

713
00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:27,660
Yeah, the good old days.

714
00:41:27,819 --> 00:41:30,447
Yeah, back when you were
still in the crew, right?

715
00:41:32,115 --> 00:41:33,958
You used to be so cute. What happened?

716
00:41:34,117 --> 00:41:35,369
Shut the fuck up.

717
00:41:35,952 --> 00:41:37,545
Still looks like me.

718
00:41:43,751 --> 00:41:46,880
Was that weird? I'm sorry.
Shit, that was weird, wasn't it?

719
00:41:47,046 --> 00:41:49,890
- No, it... It was a little weird. Heh.
- Fuck. Um...

720
00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:57,394
Cops on the way.
Get out, everybody! Now!

721
00:41:57,557 --> 00:42:00,060
Everybody in the back!
Get in the back now!

722
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:03,856
What, are you over there? Get in the back!
Cops are coming! Hurry, let's move!

723
00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:08,118
Move it, move it! Let's go! Hurry up!
Cops are coming! Everybody in the back!

724
00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:10,904
Costa. Hey, Costa.

725
00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:12,492
Everybody get in the back!

726
00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:13,907
Hey, what's going on?

727
00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:17,418
- The cops are on their way right now!
- Oh, shit.

728
00:42:17,577 --> 00:42:22,128
Get in the back now!
Everybody move! Let's go!

729
00:42:23,416 --> 00:42:25,669
Keep going! Get in the back now!

730
00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:28,129
- Get out, police.
- They're on their way now.

731
00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:30,845
- How do you know that?
- Don't ask. My boy's in deep.

732
00:42:31,007 --> 00:42:33,305
Gotta clear this fucking beer out of here.

733
00:42:33,468 --> 00:42:35,266
Damn it.

734
00:42:36,095 --> 00:42:38,974
- Is that everything?
- Yeah. I got your chalice.

735
00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,088
Law enforcement currently on scene.

736
00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:06,126
Standing down, for now.

737
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:17,395
- I don't hear anything.
- No, it doesn't sound like a party.

738
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:21,315
Not a party that's still going, anyway.

739
00:43:29,982 --> 00:43:31,655
Here they come.

740
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,241
- Evening, officers.
- Fellas having a party?

741
00:43:34,403 --> 00:43:37,532
Yeah, we're having a small little
birthday gathering for my friend.

742
00:43:37,698 --> 00:43:40,326
I'm the friend, my birthday.

743
00:43:40,493 --> 00:43:42,461
Lot of cars for a small party.

744
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:45,624
Shh.

745
00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:48,884
Shh.

746
00:43:54,465 --> 00:43:56,308
The house? Whose is it?

747
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:58,219
Is there a problem here, officers?

748
00:43:58,386 --> 00:44:00,354
We have a noise complaint.

749
00:44:00,513 --> 00:44:03,232
- You mind if we look around?
- I'd prefer if you didn't.

750
00:44:03,391 --> 00:44:06,235
- We're not asking.
- Excuse me, I'm not a lawyer or anything.

751
00:44:06,394 --> 00:44:08,522
Doesn't the law state that
you cannot enter...

752
00:44:08,688 --> 00:44:10,941
...through a private residence
without permission?

753
00:44:12,191 --> 00:44:14,489
Is there an adult here
we might speak with?

754
00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:17,405
You're speaking with one.
I'm 18 and a half years old, sir.

755
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:21,202
And, of course, in my culture
I've been a man since my 13th birthday.

756
00:44:21,367 --> 00:44:23,711
So you're telling us we cannot come in?

757
00:44:23,870 --> 00:44:26,544
With all due respect,
technically the law says you cannot.

758
00:44:26,706 --> 00:44:28,800
But what we're saying is, you may not.

759
00:44:28,958 --> 00:44:32,633
I guess both are true. The law says
you cannot because we say you may not.

760
00:44:32,795 --> 00:44:36,470
All right, all right. Props on
the "can/may" bullshit. Very good.

761
00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:38,054
No doubt. Thank you, sir.

762
00:44:38,217 --> 00:44:41,517
Just keep the noise down
to a minimum, okay?

763
00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,226
Yes, sir. Of course.

764
00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:46,397
Don't make us come back.
You know what I mean?

765
00:44:46,559 --> 00:44:49,153
- Yeah.
- Uh-huh. Of course.

766
00:44:49,312 --> 00:44:50,404
- Good night.
- Officers.

767
00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:51,940
Night.

768
00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:56,911
"Technically the law states..."
Damn Internet.

769
00:44:57,278 --> 00:44:59,701
Everybody's a fucking attorney.

770
00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:15,589
Fuck you.
- Dude, Costa. Seriously?

771
00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:16,847
- Fuck you.
- Come inside.

772
00:45:17,006 --> 00:45:19,600
Just come inside. Just forget about it.

773
00:45:30,937 --> 00:45:33,281
To the break of dawn, yo!

774
00:47:02,028 --> 00:47:04,372
- Holy shit!
- What the fuck are you doing?

775
00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:10,336
Thomas, my cousin can replace the window,
no problem. It's all good, man. I promise.

776
00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:26,845
- Where did you get this? It's my mom's.
- Come on, bro. I'm not gonna break it.

777
00:47:36,896 --> 00:47:38,898
Throw it in here, nice and low.

778
00:47:52,119 --> 00:47:53,245
They're pills!

779
00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:55,085
It's Ecstasy, bro!

780
00:48:07,635 --> 00:48:09,387
You heard about this on Craigslist?

781
00:48:09,553 --> 00:48:12,432
Craigslist, yeah. It's on the thing,
on the page, right there.

782
00:48:12,598 --> 00:48:14,817
Whoa, we are so fucked.

783
00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:17,273
- Relax, man.
- We need to tell Thomas.

784
00:48:17,436 --> 00:48:20,189
T-Rick's so burned out,
he probably forgot about it already.

785
00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:21,528
This is bad.

786
00:48:22,483 --> 00:48:25,737
Mom, Dad, it's me, Thomas.

787
00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,120
Um...

788
00:48:27,279 --> 00:48:29,873
I'm drunk. I mean, that's not an excuse.

789
00:48:30,032 --> 00:48:35,129
Hopefully we'll meet again,
so I can explain things.

790
00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:37,540
I don't really have an explanation...

791
00:48:37,706 --> 00:48:40,425
other than fucking Costa
made me do it. So...

792
00:48:42,294 --> 00:48:43,967
- Fuck off!
- Dude, it's us.

793
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:45,473
I know.

794
00:48:47,258 --> 00:48:49,727
What are you doing in here?
The whole party's outside.

795
00:48:49,885 --> 00:48:51,432
Have you seen my fucking house?

796
00:48:51,595 --> 00:48:54,144
We have a whole day
to fix this place up. It's all good.

797
00:48:54,306 --> 00:48:59,153
No, it's not all good, okay? I mean,
what about this? What if my parents see it?

798
00:48:59,311 --> 00:49:02,110
Nobody's gonna see this shit but us.
I promise.

799
00:49:03,983 --> 00:49:06,077
Where did all these people
even come from?

800
00:49:06,235 --> 00:49:07,908
You know a guy down there told me...

801
00:49:08,070 --> 00:49:11,074
...he found out about the party
on fucking Craigslist?

802
00:49:12,032 --> 00:49:14,330
My dad met my stepmom on Craigslist.

803
00:49:14,493 --> 00:49:16,666
So you put my address
on the fucking Internet?

804
00:49:16,829 --> 00:49:19,548
- Well, not just the Internet.
- Shut the fuck up, J.B.!

805
00:49:19,707 --> 00:49:21,584
Wait, what the fuck is he talking about?

806
00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:25,800
I had Jesse Marco put out an e-mail blast and
I may have called a radio station or two.

807
00:49:25,963 --> 00:49:27,260
You motherfuckers!

808
00:49:27,423 --> 00:49:29,676
You were so nervous
about people not showing up.

809
00:49:29,842 --> 00:49:33,096
Dude, people are spilling shit,
breaking shit, probably stealing shit.

810
00:49:33,262 --> 00:49:34,935
It's out of control.

811
00:49:35,097 --> 00:49:38,192
I wasn't nervous. I wanted the party
to be big enough to be cool.

812
00:49:38,350 --> 00:49:41,695
- Dude, look, back in Queens...
- I'm fucking sick of hearing about Queens.

813
00:49:41,854 --> 00:49:44,528
We get it. Queens is awesome.
We're pussies. I don't fucking care.

814
00:49:44,690 --> 00:49:46,317
<i>I'm doin' me</i>

815
00:49:46,484 --> 00:49:50,330
<i>I'm livin' life right now, man
And this what I'm gonna do</i>

816
00:49:50,863 --> 00:49:52,740
Whatever happens, we can make this right.

817
00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:56,127
I'll fix this whole house
myself if I have to.

818
00:49:56,285 --> 00:49:59,789
Your parents don't even come home
till Sunday. You just need to relax, man.

819
00:49:59,955 --> 00:50:03,004
- You want a massage, bro?
- No, no. Just, stop.

820
00:50:03,167 --> 00:50:05,135
This is my favorite song, guys.

821
00:50:05,294 --> 00:50:07,217
<i>But my body</i>

822
00:50:07,379 --> 00:50:09,097
<i>My body's</i>

823
00:50:09,256 --> 00:50:12,009
I can't believe, like,
you guys just did this to me.

824
00:50:12,176 --> 00:50:14,053
We did this for you.

825
00:50:15,179 --> 00:50:18,729
Look, man, I know you're not a drug guy,
and I respect that about you.

826
00:50:18,891 --> 00:50:21,394
- But right now, this is what you need.
- What is it?

827
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,064
It's Ecstasy. It'll put the brakes
on your little freak-out. Just take it.

828
00:50:27,608 --> 00:50:30,578
All right. This won't totally,
like, fuck me up, will it?

829
00:50:30,736 --> 00:50:33,990
Of course it will, dude.
That's the whole point.

830
00:50:35,533 --> 00:50:36,830
Here.

831
00:50:37,910 --> 00:50:40,504
Hey.
- You get half of one.

832
00:50:41,747 --> 00:50:44,250
<i>Baby</i>

833
00:50:44,458 --> 00:50:46,426
All right, just give me like 10 minutes.

834
00:50:47,795 --> 00:50:49,593
No fucking way, man!

835
00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:52,258
- Ow! Get off me.
- This is your night.

836
00:50:52,424 --> 00:50:56,770
Cut the music. Cut it. How's everybody doing?
It's your host, Costa.

837
00:50:56,929 --> 00:50:59,773
I'm gonna bring up my best friends,
Thomas and J.B.

838
00:50:59,932 --> 00:51:01,605
Get your asses up here right now.

839
00:51:01,767 --> 00:51:03,485
Come on, move your asses.

840
00:51:04,019 --> 00:51:05,771
Come on, J.B., move your fat ass.

841
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:09,784
The reason you guys are here tonight
is because it's Thomas Kub's birthday.

842
00:51:09,942 --> 00:51:14,038
And we're gonna sing a little
"Happy Birthday" for him. One, two, three.

843
00:51:14,446 --> 00:51:18,917
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

844
00:51:19,076 --> 00:51:23,798
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

845
00:51:23,956 --> 00:51:29,258
<i>Happy birthday dear Thomas</i>

846
00:51:29,962 --> 00:51:33,637
<i>Happy birthday to you</i>

847
00:51:36,010 --> 00:51:38,889
Thanks, everybody, for coming.
Let's get the music rocking!

848
00:51:40,222 --> 00:51:41,314
Wait up. Wait, wait.

849
00:51:41,473 --> 00:51:46,149
Wait up, wait up. I wanted to do a birthday
song too, if I can, Thomas. Is that cool?

850
00:51:48,063 --> 00:51:49,610
It's all right with me, brother.

851
00:51:49,773 --> 00:51:53,653
Will you drop a beat
so I can do a birthday rap? Ahem.

852
00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:01,285
<i>Yeah Hey, Thomas</i>

853
00:52:01,452 --> 00:52:05,423
<i>Happy birthday
You can suck my dick if you thirsty</i>

854
00:52:05,581 --> 00:52:09,506
<i>I'm glad your folks are on vacation
I just raided the fridge</i>

855
00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,341
<i>And shit in the kitchen</i>

856
00:52:11,503 --> 00:52:13,972
<i>Jew Pesci, go back to New York</i>

857
00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:16,850
<i>You look like smorgasbord of dorks</i>

858
00:52:17,009 --> 00:52:19,182
<i>Yeah, and I bet you got baby dick</i>

859
00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:21,848
<i>The kind that got many AIDS and shit</i>

860
00:52:22,014 --> 00:52:25,109
<i>And J.B., what's up?
You wanna suck my dick</i>

861
00:52:25,267 --> 00:52:28,191
<i>In the back of your dad's truck
You fat fuck</i>

862
00:52:28,354 --> 00:52:31,904
<i>You tub of love
I'm gonna put you in the back of the truck</i>

863
00:52:32,066 --> 00:52:34,444
<i>And give you a back tug Yeah</i>

864
00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:37,033
<i>That's a penis hand job</i>

865
00:52:37,196 --> 00:52:40,541
<i>You look like a little gremlin
And a teddy bear had a baby</i>

866
00:52:40,741 --> 00:52:44,837
What? Fuck you guys then, man.
You all can suck my dick.

867
00:52:44,995 --> 00:52:46,292
Fuck off.

868
00:52:46,747 --> 00:52:48,670
Sorry about that, everybody,
that dude's whack.

869
00:52:48,832 --> 00:52:51,927
Get this shit rolling again.
Come on DJ Jesse Marco. Run it!

870
00:52:52,461 --> 00:52:54,509
<i>Let's fucking lose it</i>

871
00:52:54,672 --> 00:52:59,269
<i>Get out of your mind</i>

872
00:52:59,426 --> 00:53:02,270
<i>Get out of your mind
Fuck that shit</i>

873
00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:06,229
Fuck, yeah! What's up in this bitch?
Fuckers.

874
00:53:06,392 --> 00:53:08,895
Hey, baby, what's up?
Want some of this?

875
00:53:09,061 --> 00:53:12,110
Yeah! The
fuck you guys looking at?

876
00:53:12,898 --> 00:53:14,900
Whoa!

877
00:53:15,067 --> 00:53:17,490
- You got something to say?
- Buddy, what...? What the...

878
00:53:23,659 --> 00:53:26,253
Let me go! Goddamn it!

879
00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:28,247
Don't shut that...

880
00:53:28,414 --> 00:53:31,258
<i>Scuffin' shell-toes
Is that nigga dead?</i>

881
00:53:31,417 --> 00:53:33,465
Hey, have you seen Thomas?

882
00:53:33,627 --> 00:53:35,300
We're looking for him.

883
00:53:35,462 --> 00:53:38,682
Well, when you find him, can you tell him
I've got something for him?

884
00:53:39,425 --> 00:53:40,677
Jump in.

885
00:53:40,843 --> 00:53:43,141
You're breaking the rules, you know.

886
00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:46,766
Ew. Heh.

887
00:53:46,932 --> 00:53:49,310
Why won't you get in with me?

888
00:53:49,476 --> 00:53:53,071
It's just, like, I already went
swimming once against my will.

889
00:53:54,690 --> 00:53:56,363
Wetness.

890
00:53:56,734 --> 00:53:58,828
Ha, ha. Whoa.

891
00:53:58,986 --> 00:54:00,909
So, Thomas, are you having fun?

892
00:54:02,072 --> 00:54:03,289
- No.
- Not at all?

893
00:54:03,449 --> 00:54:06,123
- Yes.
- You look pretty fucked up.

894
00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:08,788
- I'm a little fucked up.
- But you look good.

895
00:54:08,954 --> 00:54:11,707
- Have you gotten lucky at all?
- I'm pretty lucky right now.

896
00:54:11,874 --> 00:54:13,217
Slow down, dude.

897
00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:15,218
Fine. Give me that.

898
00:54:15,377 --> 00:54:17,721
- Are you having fun at this party?
- So much fun.

899
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:21,555
It's just that it's a small get-together.
It should be basically chill.

900
00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:24,891
Look how chill this is. It's no big deal.
I mean, there's two DJ's.

901
00:54:25,053 --> 00:54:28,227
That's not a big deal, right?
When do your parents get home?

902
00:54:28,390 --> 00:54:29,812
I don't know.

903
00:54:30,726 --> 00:54:32,649
Thomas? Thomas. Eyes up here.

904
00:54:32,811 --> 00:54:35,314
- You have great knees.
- Thanks.

905
00:54:35,481 --> 00:54:37,904
People don't tell you that enough, Kirby.

906
00:54:38,150 --> 00:54:39,527
J.B., get your fat ass up!

907
00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:42,867
There's a midget in the oven.
Let's go. Come on.

908
00:54:43,030 --> 00:54:44,703
- What?
- What? What did he say?

909
00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:46,162
I heard, "midget in oven."

910
00:54:49,620 --> 00:54:52,419
Move the fuck out of the way!

911
00:54:52,581 --> 00:54:54,049
Move the fuck out of the way!

912
00:54:54,208 --> 00:54:57,178
- I'm so sorry, sir. I'm so sor...
- Fuck!

913
00:54:57,336 --> 00:54:59,134
Hey, wrong guy. Wrong guy.

914
00:54:59,296 --> 00:55:02,391
- My God. Jesus Christ.
- No.

915
00:55:02,549 --> 00:55:08,727
Motherfucker! Motherfuckers!
You fucking cunt!

916
00:55:11,683 --> 00:55:13,401
Why the balls, man?

917
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:16,279
- Anywhere but the fucking balls.
- Think about it.

918
00:55:16,438 --> 00:55:19,442
Our balls are where his eyes are.

919
00:55:22,027 --> 00:55:23,904
Yo, yo, yo, hey!

920
00:55:24,071 --> 00:55:28,201
I just heard a rumor that all your balls
got attacked by a midget. Is it true?

921
00:55:28,367 --> 00:55:31,462
Please, please, just tell me it is.
I'm praying it fucking is.

922
00:55:31,620 --> 00:55:34,214
Dude, I can't believe I missed it.

923
00:55:35,791 --> 00:55:38,544
Look at your fucking pupils.

924
00:55:42,381 --> 00:55:44,224
- I love you guys.
- Ha, ha.

925
00:55:44,383 --> 00:55:45,805
No, seriously.

926
00:55:45,968 --> 00:55:48,721
Look, I realize I can be,
like, a huge dick sometimes...

927
00:55:48,887 --> 00:55:50,730
...and I'm really sorry for that.

928
00:55:50,889 --> 00:55:53,563
- It's okay.
- No, it's not.

929
00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:59,236
J.B., I'm sorry for buying you a bra
on your birthday. That wasn't cool.

930
00:55:59,398 --> 00:56:01,321
It wasn't cool, man.

931
00:56:01,483 --> 00:56:04,612
And I'm sorry for all the times
I called you Fat Fuck.

932
00:56:04,778 --> 00:56:06,280
Mm.

933
00:56:06,446 --> 00:56:09,074
- Chubby Bitch.
- Yeah.

934
00:56:09,241 --> 00:56:11,915
- Fudgy the Whale.
- Okay.

935
00:56:12,077 --> 00:56:14,671
I'm sorry for that time
at your brother's Bar Mitzvah...

936
00:56:14,830 --> 00:56:18,300
...where I told everyone you look like
Rosie O'Donnell, because you don't.

937
00:56:18,458 --> 00:56:20,552
- I don't.
- Hey, guys?

938
00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:22,429
- What?
- Um...

939
00:56:23,088 --> 00:56:25,216
I hooked up with Kirby.

940
00:56:26,842 --> 00:56:29,345
I'm, like, really into her.

941
00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:35,184
Okay, seriously, Thomas,
that's, you know, cool and all.

942
00:56:35,350 --> 00:56:38,274
But she's kind of always been around.

943
00:56:38,437 --> 00:56:40,986
It's like hooking up with J.B.

944
00:56:41,648 --> 00:56:43,116
But her tits are smaller.

945
00:56:43,275 --> 00:56:45,869
- Hey.
- I'm just saying.

946
00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:48,656
Kirby's sort of like one of us.

947
00:56:48,822 --> 00:56:51,792
You know, tonight's about the girls
we never had a shot at.

948
00:56:51,950 --> 00:56:55,580
Tonight's about changing the game.

949
00:59:10,881 --> 00:59:12,303
<i>Heads will roll</i>

950
00:59:12,466 --> 00:59:15,811
<i>Heads will roll</i>

951
00:59:17,179 --> 00:59:18,772
It's crazy out there.

952
00:59:18,930 --> 00:59:20,603
I haven't seen Tyler in an hour.

953
00:59:25,312 --> 00:59:27,360
We were slightly out of our league
on this mission.

954
00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:34,746
- Cool room.
- Thanks.

955
00:59:36,073 --> 00:59:37,700
It's a bit messy right now.

956
00:59:39,034 --> 00:59:40,877
Here, let me...

957
00:59:42,996 --> 00:59:45,499
(SMALL BLACK'S "DESPICABLE DOGS

958
00:59:45,665 --> 00:59:47,884
So it's your birthday.

959
00:59:48,043 --> 00:59:51,047
Yeah, it's my birthday.

960
01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,955
Oh.

961
01:00:24,579 --> 01:00:27,002
<i>I know where they build 'em</i>

962
01:00:27,165 --> 01:00:30,635
<i>I know where they're selling long</i>

963
01:00:34,589 --> 01:00:38,765
<i>Wider than the worst ones
Wider than the one I know</i>

964
01:00:44,558 --> 01:00:50,486
<i>Smoke machine begins to blow</i>

965
01:00:54,734 --> 01:01:00,787
<i>Lines of water on the floor</i>

966
01:01:04,744 --> 01:01:10,751
<i>I know you watch 'em
I know that you want no more</i>

967
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:21,058
<i>Maybe in the factory
Maybe in the actual world</i>

968
01:01:24,598 --> 01:01:26,726
Oh, my God. Thomas?

969
01:01:26,892 --> 01:01:28,269
Kirby.

970
01:01:28,435 --> 01:01:30,278
Fuck off.
- I'm sorry. Hey, hey, Kirby...

971
01:01:30,437 --> 01:01:32,860
Thomas, what the fuck?

972
01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:35,359
Asshole.

973
01:01:39,446 --> 01:01:42,620
Would you like a hand with that?
- How long have you been in there?

974
01:01:42,782 --> 01:01:44,455
- Fucking shit!
- What are you doing?

975
01:01:46,870 --> 01:01:49,544
(THE KILLS' "CHEAP AND CHEERFUL

976
01:01:56,296 --> 01:01:57,343
Kirby!

977
01:01:58,131 --> 01:01:59,303
Kirby!

978
01:02:50,058 --> 01:02:52,231
Alexis, are you having a good time?

979
01:02:52,394 --> 01:02:53,691
No. I'm leaving.

980
01:03:11,329 --> 01:03:14,879
<i>Hi. You've reached
the Kub residence. Please, leave a message.</i>

981
01:03:15,041 --> 01:03:17,214
<i>- Thomas, it's me again.</i>
- I'm fucked, dude.

982
01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:21,678
<i>I just got another call.
I'm sure the neighbors are exaggerating.</i>

983
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,389
<i>- Please call me.</i>
- Fuck.

984
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:34,565
<i>Pretty girls, sunshine in the air</i>

985
01:03:34,811 --> 01:03:38,361
<i>Perfume everywhere</i>

986
01:03:38,690 --> 01:03:42,411
<i>Bass to the floor, right now, what's up
A lime to a lemon</i>

987
01:03:42,569 --> 01:03:46,790
<i>Remind you of the sky when I'm fucking
And we on cloud nine for that minute</i>

988
01:03:47,073 --> 01:03:48,996
<i>Your style and your physique</i>

989
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:52,545
<i>And I ain't tiyin' to critique But you
deserve a good drink, so, what's up?</i>

990
01:03:52,704 --> 01:03:54,706
<i>What you sippio' on?
It's no problem</i>

991
01:03:54,873 --> 01:03:57,922
<i>Black and gold bottles
Like I'm pro-New Orleans</i>

992
01:03:58,084 --> 01:04:03,136
<i>But, shorty, I'm far from a saint
But I got two AmEx's that look the same way</i>

993
01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:08,225
<i>Wale, D.C., that's me, huh
My Prada say Prada and they Prada say Fila</i>

994
01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:10,889
<i>I ain't gotta tell you
They know about me, huh</i>

995
01:04:11,056 --> 01:04:13,650
<i>Come to D. C. and I can make you a believer</i>

996
01:04:13,808 --> 01:04:16,561
<i>See, baby, I'm a leader
Day away from a Libra</i>

997
01:04:16,728 --> 01:04:19,231
<i>I ain't tryin' to lead you wrong, sugar
I need you</i>

998
01:04:19,397 --> 01:04:21,695
<i>So would you please listen
To what I'm gonna need from you</i>

999
01:04:21,858 --> 01:04:24,156
<i>Live for tonight
Before tomorrow's amnesia</i>

1000
01:04:24,319 --> 01:04:29,041
<i>Pretty girls
I ask them do they smoke</i>

1001
01:04:29,908 --> 01:04:31,910
Holy shit!

1002
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:34,538
It's fucking insane.

1003
01:04:51,596 --> 01:04:55,601
Thomas, look at what we did. Epic.

1004
01:04:58,895 --> 01:05:01,444
Is this big enough to be cool?

1005
01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,154
Game changer.

1006
01:05:06,111 --> 01:05:07,784
Holy shit, it's the news.

1007
01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:16,462
Dude, that's Thomas!

1008
01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:19,625
<i>Thomas! Thomas! Thomas!</i>

1009
01:05:19,791 --> 01:05:21,714
Are you hearing this?

1010
01:05:21,876 --> 01:05:26,598
<i>Thomas! Thomas! Thomas!</i>

1011
01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:28,474
This is your fucking party, man.

1012
01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:31,645
You're right, dude. I needed this.

1013
01:05:35,807 --> 01:05:37,024
Fuck, yeah!

1014
01:05:45,066 --> 01:05:48,821
Look at me now, bitches!
My party is the shit!

1015
01:05:49,404 --> 01:05:52,032
MY Party is legendary!

1016
01:05:54,534 --> 01:05:57,003
<i>Thomas! Thomas! Thomas!</i>

1017
01:05:57,162 --> 01:05:58,835
- Watch this.
- Watch what?

1018
01:05:58,997 --> 01:06:03,002
- Are you kidding me?
- Hey, all you bitches. Aah!

1019
01:06:04,836 --> 01:06:07,259
<i>Know me from the you know
Boss in my Hugo</i>

1020
01:06:10,216 --> 01:06:12,685
Thomas, you crazy motherfucker!
I love you!

1021
01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:20,526
<i>Jump! Jump! Jump!</i>

1022
01:06:20,685 --> 01:06:23,438
Fuck that shit. I'm not jumping.
Fuck that.

1023
01:06:23,855 --> 01:06:26,233
<i>Jump! Jump! Jump!</i>

1024
01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:31,989
To my family members,
all my friends on Facebook...

1025
01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:33,702
What?
- It's been a great ride.

1026
01:06:33,865 --> 01:06:36,960
- Costa, hold on to these.
- J.B., don't do it, man.

1027
01:06:37,118 --> 01:06:38,870
- You're way too fat.
- Shut up.

1028
01:06:45,502 --> 01:06:46,879
Yeah!

1029
01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:56,846
Oh, my God!

1030
01:06:59,724 --> 01:07:01,977
J.B., you all right, man?

1031
01:07:02,685 --> 01:07:05,063
- J.B., you all right?
Ha-ha-ha!

1032
01:07:16,074 --> 01:07:17,166
This is Falcon One.

1033
01:07:17,325 --> 01:07:20,295
I was just attacked
by this really sexy woman.

1034
01:07:20,453 --> 01:07:23,081
We've lost all control.
The house was breached hours ago.

1035
01:07:23,248 --> 01:07:24,750
Chaos has spread to the streets.

1036
01:07:24,916 --> 01:07:27,669
And the police are returning in force.
We're clearly outnumbered.

1037
01:07:36,594 --> 01:07:37,720
God, help us.

1038
01:07:43,309 --> 01:07:44,902
Assholes!

1039
01:07:53,444 --> 01:07:57,369
<i>Cops go home! Cops go home! Cops go home!</i>

1040
01:07:57,532 --> 01:07:59,455
This is the police.

1041
01:07:59,617 --> 01:08:03,292
Disperse peacefully and immediately
or you will be subject to arrest.

1042
01:08:14,215 --> 01:08:15,967
In need of immediate assistance.

1043
01:08:18,052 --> 01:08:19,269
Drive, drive, drive!

1044
01:08:21,931 --> 01:08:24,229
Requesting backup, all units...

1045
01:08:41,993 --> 01:08:43,040
Holy shit!

1046
01:08:43,202 --> 01:08:45,125
I jumped off the house on purpose.

1047
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:51,173
<i>Chaos has broken out in the Southland...</i>

1048
01:08:51,336 --> 01:08:55,887
<i>...where this normally quiet residential
street has turned into anarchy.</i>

1049
01:09:05,516 --> 01:09:08,861
<i>I'm joined now by Captain Reesman
of the Police Department.</i>

1050
01:09:09,020 --> 01:09:12,149
<i>We'll have to let this thing burn out
before we even think about moving back in.</i>

1051
01:10:01,906 --> 01:10:04,034
Good evening, uh, this is... This is Dax.

1052
01:10:07,954 --> 01:10:10,423
I'm inside the belly of the beast.

1053
01:10:10,873 --> 01:10:13,296
I don't have words
for some of the things I've seen.

1054
01:10:13,459 --> 01:10:17,214
Pfft. A lot of people don't know
this simple fact, but this is actually...

1055
01:10:17,380 --> 01:10:20,634
it's the first party
I've ever attended and you...

1056
01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:24,555
Perhaps tonight is just business <i>as</i> usual,
but something tells me, no, it's not.

1057
01:10:30,685 --> 01:10:32,779
- Shit, that's my dad's car.
- Shit, dude.

1058
01:10:34,188 --> 01:10:35,280
Oh, shit.

1059
01:10:41,863 --> 01:10:43,911
Oh, shit!

1060
01:10:55,418 --> 01:10:57,671
Are you kidding me?

1061
01:11:00,673 --> 01:11:02,926
- What are you doing?
- What?

1062
01:11:03,092 --> 01:11:04,719
Fuck your car!

1063
01:11:07,555 --> 01:11:08,681
Motherfuckers!

1064
01:11:10,475 --> 01:11:13,524
Oh, my God, Thomas, we're fucked.

1065
01:11:13,686 --> 01:11:15,654
I don't know how to fix this.

1066
01:11:16,898 --> 01:11:19,401
I don't know how to fix any of this shit.

1067
01:11:19,567 --> 01:11:23,697
I'm sorry, Thomas.
I just wanted to get some pussy.

1068
01:11:27,074 --> 01:11:30,374
<i>And something's just happening right now.
I've heard a commotion.</i>

1069
01:11:32,413 --> 01:11:33,881
Holy shit!

1070
01:11:37,752 --> 01:11:39,550
What the fuck is that?

1071
01:11:39,712 --> 01:11:41,055
Whoa!

1072
01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:45,430
<i>Outside visual on subject with...</i>

1073
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:47,186
Everybody, back!

1074
01:11:50,348 --> 01:11:51,941
Fuck! You guys, come on!

1075
01:11:52,099 --> 01:11:54,568
Come on, get the fuck out of here! Move!
- Come on!

1076
01:11:54,727 --> 01:11:57,355
- Go! Shit!
- Come on!

1077
01:11:57,563 --> 01:12:00,567
Whoa! What the fuck, dude! Get down!

1078
01:12:00,733 --> 01:12:02,701
- Holy shit! Look out.
- Shit! What the fuck?

1079
01:12:04,278 --> 01:12:08,078
<i>- Subject is armed and active.</i>
- Oh, my fucking God.

1080
01:12:08,241 --> 01:12:12,371
<i>Police are on scene in riot gear.
SWAT officers are rushing forward.</i>

1081
01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:14,631
<i>All units hold for SWAT team arrival.</i>

1082
01:12:17,917 --> 01:12:19,885
- Fuck!
- Holy shit, dude, it's T-Rick!

1083
01:12:20,044 --> 01:12:23,890
- What the fuck is he doing?
- Costa!

1084
01:12:24,048 --> 01:12:27,393
Give me back my fucking gnome!

1085
01:12:27,552 --> 01:12:30,806
- Give it to him. Where is it?
- It was full of Ecstasy. Everyone ate it!

1086
01:12:30,972 --> 01:12:33,851
Where the fuck is Costa?

1087
01:12:34,016 --> 01:12:35,859
<i>Subject is advancing.</i>

1088
01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:41,900
Whoa, shit!

1089
01:12:43,568 --> 01:12:44,615
This is the police...

1090
01:12:44,777 --> 01:12:46,495
<i>Approach with extreme caution.</i>

1091
01:12:46,654 --> 01:12:49,954
Put down your weapon
and put your hands in the air.

1092
01:12:50,116 --> 01:12:52,835
- Get down! Show me your hands!
- Put down your weapon!

1093
01:12:52,994 --> 01:12:55,213
<i>Police are now firing rubber bullets.</i>

1094
01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:56,793
- Drop it now!
- Back up, back up!

1095
01:12:56,956 --> 01:12:58,003
Get back!

1096
01:12:59,083 --> 01:13:00,801
<i>Suspect is firing at officers.</i>

1097
01:13:01,294 --> 01:13:04,047
- Fuck this.
- Where are you going? Get back here!

1098
01:13:04,213 --> 01:13:05,339
Dude, Thomas, no!

1099
01:13:05,506 --> 01:13:08,009
Look, T-Rick, we can fix this.
Okay, man?

1100
01:13:08,175 --> 01:13:09,222
Fuck you!

1101
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:12,685
You burn me, I burn you!

1102
01:13:12,847 --> 01:13:14,520
Thomas, get back here, dude!

1103
01:13:14,682 --> 01:13:16,229
Costa, you motherfucker!

1104
01:13:16,392 --> 01:13:18,645
Put down your weapon.
Put your hands in the air.

1105
01:13:18,811 --> 01:13:19,937
Go, go, go!
- Shit!

1106
01:13:20,104 --> 01:13:21,981
Put down your weapon.

1107
01:13:22,148 --> 01:13:23,991
Yeah. Now. Take the shot!

1108
01:13:24,150 --> 01:13:25,367
Get the fuck out of here!

1109
01:13:25,526 --> 01:13:27,028
Go!

1110
01:13:28,529 --> 01:13:29,997
Get back. Get back!

1111
01:13:30,698 --> 01:13:31,870
Fuck. Oh, my God.

1112
01:13:32,033 --> 01:13:33,706
<i>Still active and on the move.</i>

1113
01:13:35,870 --> 01:13:37,372
<i>Heading toward residence.</i>

1114
01:13:39,707 --> 01:13:41,550
Holy shit!

1115
01:13:44,211 --> 01:13:46,259
This is the police.

1116
01:13:47,131 --> 01:13:49,225
Disperse immediately.

1117
01:13:49,967 --> 01:13:51,059
Oh, my God.

1118
01:13:51,218 --> 01:13:53,892
Disperse immediately
or you will be subject to arrest.

1119
01:13:54,555 --> 01:13:56,228
This is the police.

1120
01:14:00,895 --> 01:14:03,398
- We gotta get out of here.
- I can't leave my house.

1121
01:14:03,564 --> 01:14:05,441
The house is gone, man.
It's fucking over.

1122
01:14:05,608 --> 01:14:08,361
- Where's Milo?
- This is the police.

1123
01:14:15,785 --> 01:14:17,913
Disperse immediately.

1124
01:14:22,875 --> 01:14:24,047
Go, go!

1125
01:14:25,127 --> 01:14:27,255
I hear him here.

1126
01:14:27,421 --> 01:14:30,516
What the fuck are you doing?
The dog's not gonna be in that drawer.

1127
01:14:30,675 --> 01:14:33,019
Here he is! I got him! Motherfuckers!

1128
01:14:33,177 --> 01:14:34,724
Come on, let's go. Move!

1129
01:14:42,269 --> 01:14:44,271
It's complete chaos out here.

1130
01:14:44,438 --> 01:14:48,363
Police are using flash-bang grenades
to try and disperse this crowd.

1131
01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:49,778
This is the police.

1132
01:14:49,944 --> 01:14:52,288
Disperse immediately.

1133
01:14:52,446 --> 01:14:55,950
If you do not disperse immediately,
you will be subject to arrest.

1134
01:14:57,785 --> 01:14:59,128
Go! Go!

1135
01:14:59,286 --> 01:15:02,756
<i>Police are now mobilizing.
Fire helicopters have been brought in.</i>

1136
01:15:02,915 --> 01:15:05,759
<i>They're dropping water
to put this blaze out.</i>

1137
01:15:15,302 --> 01:15:18,522
<i>Scene in progress, 50 yards ahead of IC.
Officers need assistance.</i>

1138
01:15:18,681 --> 01:15:20,479
Holy shit!

1139
01:15:20,641 --> 01:15:23,110
Tyler, I need you! Pull it together!

1140
01:15:26,063 --> 01:15:28,157
<i>Civilians 50 yards ahead on Dickens.</i>

1141
01:15:30,317 --> 01:15:32,661
<i>- Officers engaged with riot...</i>
- What is going on?

1142
01:15:32,820 --> 01:15:35,039
- Stay down. Stay down.
- Fuck! Shit!

1143
01:15:36,866 --> 01:15:38,368
Milo!

1144
01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:41,003
- Dude, Milo!
- Hey, Oliver!

1145
01:15:41,162 --> 01:15:42,789
Great party, buddy.

1146
01:15:42,955 --> 01:15:44,673
You owe me a tree, you piece of shit.

1147
01:15:44,832 --> 01:15:49,212
All we're doing is trying to have a good
time, you cocksucking motherfucker!

1148
01:15:49,378 --> 01:15:52,632
You know where you're going?
You're going to jail, you motherfucker!

1149
01:15:52,798 --> 01:15:57,554
Yeah! That's my boys! Suck my dick, Robert!
Suck my fucking dick!

1150
01:16:03,184 --> 01:16:04,310
Fuck! Shit!

1151
01:16:04,477 --> 01:16:07,526
<i>Black sedan. License plate...
We've got a hit-and-run.</i>

1152
01:16:07,688 --> 01:16:10,988
- Go, go, go!
- Run! Run!

1153
01:16:11,150 --> 01:16:12,993
<i>Unit 23, what's your status?</i>

1154
01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:21,207
<i>- Skirmish line, be advised,
officer down, officer down.</i>

1155
01:16:39,970 --> 01:16:44,020
He's home alone. He's been up all
night, so he's probably gonna crash soon.

1156
01:16:44,183 --> 01:16:47,904
We wait about an hour to make sure
he's asleep, then we make our move.

1157
01:16:48,062 --> 01:16:50,941
We go in the back, break Rob's door down,
and torch the house.

1158
01:16:51,107 --> 01:16:53,201
- Yeah.
- What the fuck are you talking about?

1159
01:16:53,359 --> 01:16:56,533
The guy has a wife and a baby.
You're not gonna burn his house down.

1160
01:16:56,695 --> 01:16:58,823
He called the cops on us.
He ruined everything.

1161
01:16:58,989 --> 01:17:03,369
It's 6 in the morning, man.
Let it go. It's over.

1162
01:17:04,036 --> 01:17:05,834
Just go home.

1163
01:17:12,253 --> 01:17:13,926
What about our money?

1164
01:17:15,422 --> 01:17:19,222
The house is trashed.
You're the worst security ever.

1165
01:17:30,563 --> 01:17:32,236
You guys should go home too.

1166
01:17:34,483 --> 01:17:36,451
You gonna be okay, man?

1167
01:17:36,944 --> 01:17:39,788
Yeah, I'm just gonna hang here
with Milo for a bit.

1168
01:17:45,452 --> 01:17:46,453
All right.

1169
01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:49,127
I'm gonna go home...

1170
01:17:50,082 --> 01:17:53,882
...have a good cry,
and start calling some lawyers.

1171
01:17:55,629 --> 01:17:58,473
Thomas, whatever happens, man...

1172
01:17:59,550 --> 01:18:02,429
...that was one fucking hell of a night.

1173
01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:05,306
Come on, J.B., let's bounce.

1174
01:18:29,830 --> 01:18:32,083
You can go too, Dax.

1175
01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:36,925
Thanks, Thomas.

1176
01:18:37,296 --> 01:18:39,719
I had a really fun time.

1177
01:18:41,675 --> 01:18:43,598
You'll be all right.

1178
01:18:59,401 --> 01:19:01,449
<i>Kevin and Bean
from the world-famous KROQ.</i>

1179
01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:05,537
<i>Can we talk about this insanity
in Pasadena last night?</i>

1180
01:19:05,699 --> 01:19:07,542
<i>It looked like the greatest party ever.</i>

1181
01:19:07,701 --> 01:19:09,544
<i>Big Boy's neighborhood, beautiful day.</i>

1182
01:19:09,703 --> 01:19:12,126
<i>It is going down.
I don't know if you seen the news.</i>

1183
01:19:12,289 --> 01:19:16,385
<i>But some cats had a party in Pasadena and
took this thing to the whole next level.</i>

1184
01:19:16,543 --> 01:19:20,548
<i>I'm talking about, they trashed the
neighborhood. They trashed the house.</i>

1185
01:19:20,714 --> 01:19:22,762
<i>We heard that Kanye
made an appearance there.</i>

1186
01:19:22,925 --> 01:19:26,429
<i>Yeah, so if you were there at the party
in Pasadena last night, hit us up...</i>

1187
01:19:26,595 --> 01:19:30,316
<i>...because we're gonna be talking about it
all morning long in the neighborhood.</i>

1188
01:19:34,603 --> 01:19:38,107
- I really am sorry.
- You said that already.

1189
01:19:40,859 --> 01:19:44,909
Do you have any idea how much
all this is gonna cost, Thomas?

1190
01:19:47,366 --> 01:19:50,040
Your college fund is gone,
I can tell you that.

1191
01:19:51,996 --> 01:19:54,590
- Yeah. Dad, I'm sorry.
- You had so much going for you...

1192
01:19:54,748 --> 01:19:59,094
...and you just pissed it all away
for one night?

1193
01:20:03,257 --> 01:20:05,601
I just didn't think you had it in you.

1194
01:20:08,304 --> 01:20:11,854
Well, I know. I'm sorry I let you down.

1195
01:20:12,099 --> 01:20:13,646
No.

1196
01:20:13,934 --> 01:20:19,941
I literally didn't think
that you had this in you.

1197
01:20:23,444 --> 01:20:26,948
So, uh, how many people were here?

1198
01:20:27,614 --> 01:20:29,082
Uh...

1199
01:20:30,659 --> 01:20:32,161
Fifteen hundred.

1200
01:20:33,537 --> 01:20:35,710
Couple thousand, maybe.

1201
01:20:36,457 --> 01:20:37,800
Wow.

1202
01:20:39,293 --> 01:20:41,261
You should've seen it.

1203
01:20:44,548 --> 01:20:46,425
It was awesome.

1204
01:20:48,969 --> 01:20:51,973
Well, you're still fucked, Thomas.

1205
01:21:06,236 --> 01:21:07,704
<i>It's the motherfucking D-O-double-G</i>

1206
01:21:07,863 --> 01:21:09,740
<i>Snoop Dogg</i>

1207
01:21:10,824 --> 01:21:13,327
<i>You know I'm mobbin' with the D-R-E</i>

1208
01:21:13,494 --> 01:21:15,462
<i>Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know who's back...</i>

1209
01:21:16,872 --> 01:21:18,920
Well, at least the van
looks gangster now.

1210
01:21:19,083 --> 01:21:22,462
Dude, don't even start, okay?
My dad's making me drive it as punishment.

1211
01:21:22,628 --> 01:21:24,346
That sucks.

1212
01:21:24,505 --> 01:21:27,679
Yeah, and I'm being brought up on
like six different charges.

1213
01:21:27,841 --> 01:21:29,969
My mom hasn't stopped crying.

1214
01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:32,513
We're living at a Courtyard Marriott
right now.

1215
01:21:32,679 --> 01:21:34,852
I'm basically on house arrest
until my hearing.

1216
01:21:35,015 --> 01:21:36,733
I'm not supposed to talk to you guys.

1217
01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:40,362
My parents are convinced this is totally
gonna be fucking my college plans.

1218
01:21:40,521 --> 01:21:42,740
Your grades are fucking up
your college plans.

1219
01:21:42,898 --> 01:21:45,902
My dad got me a lawyer.
Even that Jew thinks we're fucked.

1220
01:21:46,068 --> 01:21:48,867
- Thinks we could actually do
time for this. J.B.: Jesus.

1221
01:21:49,029 --> 01:21:51,282
What about you, Dax?
What did your parents say?

1222
01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:54,042
Oh, I live alone, actually.

1223
01:21:55,285 --> 01:21:57,788
You're really starting
to fucking scare me.

1224
01:21:59,873 --> 01:22:01,875
Yo, what up, Kub?

1225
01:22:04,545 --> 01:22:06,218
What's going on, man?

1226
01:22:06,380 --> 01:22:08,007
That's him.

1227
01:22:11,885 --> 01:22:12,977
Hey, Costa.

1228
01:22:13,137 --> 01:22:15,560
- Hi, Thomas.
- Thank you.

1229
01:22:15,722 --> 01:22:17,565
Thank you.

1230
01:22:19,601 --> 01:22:22,730
Yo, you guys, Thomas.
That party was dope.

1231
01:22:22,896 --> 01:22:24,898
- Thank you, man.
- No, thank you, man.

1232
01:22:25,065 --> 01:22:26,567
You guys rock.

1233
01:22:31,905 --> 01:22:32,997
Thank you.

1234
01:22:34,616 --> 01:22:36,163
J.B.!

1235
01:22:37,161 --> 01:22:40,335
<i>Thomas! Thomas! Thomas!</i>

1236
01:22:58,098 --> 01:22:59,645
Kirby, wait.

1237
01:23:00,976 --> 01:23:02,444
Kirby.

1238
01:23:03,270 --> 01:23:06,365
- Hey.
- Hey, look, I just wanted to talk to you.

1239
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:10,198
- There's really nothing to talk about.
- Wait. Please, can I just explain?

1240
01:23:10,569 --> 01:23:11,946
It's not that complicated.

1241
01:23:12,446 --> 01:23:16,576
What you did was really not cool.

1242
01:23:17,868 --> 01:23:19,711
It really hurt me.

1243
01:23:20,078 --> 01:23:22,080
Kirby, I'm really sorry about
what happened.

1244
01:23:22,539 --> 01:23:24,758
I didn't know how to handle it.

1245
01:23:26,376 --> 01:23:29,471
But I think I do now
and that's why I'm here.

1246
01:23:32,216 --> 01:23:35,470
My life right now, it's totally ruined.

1247
01:23:35,636 --> 01:23:39,106
Okay? I practically burned down
my whole neighborhood.

1248
01:23:39,723 --> 01:23:43,148
Probably bankrupt my parents.
I'll be in debt until I die.

1249
01:23:43,310 --> 01:23:46,484
But the only thing that I care about
fixing right now is this.

1250
01:23:46,647 --> 01:23:47,944
So, I'm sorry.

1251
01:23:49,525 --> 01:23:52,074
If you're still mad, I get it...

1252
01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:56,077
...but if you are talking to me
by my next birthday...

1253
01:23:56,240 --> 01:23:59,164
...I'd really like to
spend it with just you.

1254
01:24:07,793 --> 01:24:09,295
Oh, you're...

1255
01:24:16,343 --> 01:24:18,437
So we're cool again?

1256
01:24:18,595 --> 01:24:20,973
I never said you were cool.

1257
01:24:34,027 --> 01:24:37,657
So you know this high school party in
Pasadena that turned into a riot, right?

1258
01:24:37,823 --> 01:24:40,997
The kid actually burned his parents'
house down. Can you imagi...?

1259
01:24:41,159 --> 01:24:43,787
Do you know how many chores
it's gonna take to make up for...

1260
01:24:45,455 --> 01:24:48,880
He'll be taking the trash out
nine times a day for the rest of his life.

1261
01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:53,297
<i>The person who caused the early
morning fire and explosion here...</i>

1262
01:24:53,463 --> 01:24:57,218
<i>- ...has survived his injuries</i>
<i>- Costa!</i>

1263
01:24:57,384 --> 01:25:00,183
<i>We moved to a place like Pasadena
to avoid stuff like this.</i>

1264
01:25:00,345 --> 01:25:03,440
<i>Some asshole puked all over
my front door.</i>

1265
01:25:03,599 --> 01:25:07,695
<i>Do these kids even have parents?
It's ridiculous, right?</i>

1266
01:25:08,895 --> 01:25:11,148
Have you seen the footage?
Let me tell you.

1267
01:25:11,315 --> 01:25:15,536
I haven't seen that many teenage boobs
since R. Kelly's birthday party.

1268
01:26:03,075 --> 01:26:08,582
<i>Joining us now live is one Pasadena teen
who's recently drawn a lot of notice...</i>

1269
01:26:08,747 --> 01:26:10,624
<i>...for throwing what people
are calling...</i>

1270
01:26:10,791 --> 01:26:13,886
<i>...possibly the most epic
high-school party of all time.</i>

1271
01:26:14,044 --> 01:26:17,924
<i>Costa, before we begin, is there anything
that you would like to say to the viewers?</i>

1272
01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:19,262
<i>In fact, I would.</i>

1273
01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:22,553
<i>You said it was perhaps
the most epic party of all time.</i>

1274
01:26:22,719 --> 01:26:25,063
<i>It was the most epic party of all time.</i>

1275
01:26:25,222 --> 01:26:28,726
<i>Okay. I was thinking more along
the lines of an apology.</i>

1276
01:26:28,892 --> 01:26:30,314
<i>Would you like to apologize?</i>

1277
01:26:30,477 --> 01:26:33,481
<i>I got a better idea.
How about I invite you to my next party?</i>

1278
01:26:33,980 --> 01:26:35,982
<i>- What?
- Yeah, you heard me, sugar-tits.</i>

1279
01:26:36,149 --> 01:26:37,992
<i>Just make sure
you wear something tight.</i>